My Little Rainbow

meet up.

2012-02-17T13:54:00.001+08:00

a chance to rub shoulders with the one and only Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad. all smiles and honourable atmosphere surrounds us after. and inspired definitely.

p.s. blessed to be living where i am living now :)

one month away?

2012-02-17T03:09:00.004+08:00

since it's official, between us that is, time has seem to pass so slow-ly when we are apart. hati sungguh berdebunga cinta. dan perasaan berbungabunga rindu. like seriously ;p okay, i feel like vomit-ing myself writing this post. but seriously. it is. *blush.

owh, i wanted to like not-see-each-other-for-a-month-or-so. saja-saja je. but guess what he said "no! i don't want, i can't stand it" awwh~ but deep down, i don't know whether i can stand it too. ah! ;p

the Brain program.

2012-02-17T01:06:00.004+08:00

currently my mind is bogged down by an issue so deep i couldn't make up my mind in just a split second. even walking, eating and shopping around klcc with the two kids, little sister and nephew does not take my mind away from the big issue.

it surely involves a big stretch of how my future and my present would be. it's big enough, that my mind zooms through on what will happen by the time my age turns it's front number double than now.

it's a coincidence itself when they started the program just months before i started and would end by the year i am expected to finish. i really do believe that's one of God's plan for me. so should i take it? i don't know.

and not to mention the sweet little burden i am on now. it's definitely bittersweet, that i feel like running away far enough for me to hid from it all. but of course, it wouldn't settle the issue. so why run? better don't.

it's full of positive outcomes, but the negativity lingering around it can't seem to just fades away without my eyes twitching to it.

but just by mindmapping it out, i see it planned well enough. and i am happy. but i am scared at the same time. so how now? what to do?

will do more thinking and lucky enough, it is open all year. Ya Allah help me make the decision ya?

kitchen lesson 101

2012-02-16T17:11:00.003+08:00

i always thought umi is being over-ly perfect when it comes to the ingredients used in her cooking. i mean, bawang merah kecik pun, she'd choose the smallest one to make her gulai. and with her perfectionist attitude makes us her children kinda malas nak masuk dapur sebab if salah potong potato pun kena marah! like seriously okay.

but now, dah rajin rajin kan diri jugak masuk dapur because dah rasa perlu? ;) and seriously bebelan itu la yang banyak membantu bila buat kerja sorang-sorang kat dapur. like, this tips : bila anda di tugaskan untuk kupas bawang banyak2 punya, always start with bawang putih and end with bawang merah. to avoid you from crying kupas-ing all of it! hee.

so,

umi : don't buy the kuew teow yang thin and soft tu, beli yang besar and kasar sikit tu. {for me semua jenis sama jeeee, but for her ada type2. urgh! but the other day, when i was walking on the mee-isle at the supermarket, to my surprise i found it! ;p and yes, by that time, i know she knows best!}

umi : buy the cili padi yang kecik sekali, jangan buy yg besar punya.
me : okay. {confidently, because by now, i already know that there is the smallest one yang paling pedas sekali. by watching afc and her bebelan of course}

but, i mintak tolong syg to go and buy it. because i was lazy nak turun just to get that. and guess what?

he comes back to the car saying, cili padi ni je ade. and i was like itu besar punyaaaa. he said ala, semua sama jeee. pedas jugak.

me : speechless, i really do understand where that comes from. owh owh.

p.s. at least now, he can't teased me tak reti masak lagi, haha ;p

The Proposal :)

2012-02-10T23:42:00.007+08:00

it's his birthday eve dinner wif a surrounding so romantic we nearly melts just with looking at the warmth sweet candle-lit environment.

live bands adds up to the almost perfect romantic mood.

and look at the clear dark sky wif the twinkle twinkle little star where we ate our yummy 3 course meal under! :) just literally spells romance.

Starter : Honey Lemon Prawn Salad

Hers : Asmara Grilled Chicken

His : Australian Striploin

Desserts & Drinks

you know what makes the dinner memorable enough and above all created a historic moments in our love diary? yes, it's The Proposal. after hints and hints, and moments waited long enough for it to be almost perfect and the time to be almost suitable? after 2 times of in-a-car-proposal-i-said-no-to-bluntly? ;p

finally, the day have come where i actually break down in tears and almost drown the place wif my tears! seriously. he was so shy and out of word, ahah. it's like i already know that the moment will come and i am literally creating an imaginary wings to fly away, but of course i did not.

"will you marry me syg?"

*cries, almost shout, but no, keeping it classy by smiling to him wif a really meaningful smile i ever give to him and i believe he can almost listen to my heart shouting **yes!** *

smiles.

tears!

and now it's official {for me. that is!} {because i'm sure everyone already know that we are going to get married because we're engaged, but not for me ;p}

WE ARE GETTING MARRIED!!~ {Insyaallah}

but we haven't decide on the official date yet, just going with the flow and let's see how it goes day by day as i am still studying and Insyaallah he wants to further his studies too! omg right? ;)

beachwear packing...

2012-01-21T00:53:00.003+08:00

and look who decides to sleep in the luggage

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my meow >_<
kiss kiss, love!~

fiancé & fiancée

2012-01-19T01:38:00.005+08:00

it's been 1 year and 18 days and i got to admit i feel almost quite naked going out without both of my precious ring.

he completes me in a way that i can never imagine myself to be in, in terms of a relationship. both yin and yang. and if i were to share with all of you on how he proposed to me of which i finally accepted it more than a year ago {the engagement proposal} you'd be aww-ed. in surprise! so not romantic at all ;p so yes, i'll just keep it to myself and us to know, teehee. {hint hint : you still haf a wedding proposal for me to consider syg! hehe}

keeping the proposal story aside, the journey of us being engaged is definitely not easy, that i finally understands why people always say "jangan bertunang lama-lama". it is so full of indescribable crazy little stupid things wiggling around and i have to constantly reminds myself, it's just a test. it's just a test. it is just a test! but above all i am truly grateful that our love bubbles never blow. and hopefully forever never will. in fact, i believe the bubble is getting thicker from the little sweet conversation we had just now. he makes me gulped wif happy teary eyes :) *love*

2012. we're in the 9th year of knowing each other, of which a year of being casual friends, 6 years of being a girlfriend and a boyfriend, and of course 1 year + of being engaged *okay, bite nails*

2012. many plans we have for this year that i leap into it in no time at all. it's like i've already been in it since last year. and only being in it for only 18 days, i am already thinking of next year! omg. okay, okay, stop it.

so yes, back to fiancé & fiancée story. i am blessed. and by now, only he holds the key to swivel the title, one more time, again :) Insyaallah?

11, 11.11.11.

2011-11-11T23:00:00.008+08:00

it's 11 pm on 11.11.11. wow.

and at this very moment, i am checking my gmail, wanting to publish this post, updating my facebook status, checking my online notes wif my samsung on my lap and my feet on the teatable wif my hair twisted up and am wearing a flowery pink pyjama.

yes, at one point of time, i'd like to remember this very moment which only comes once in a lifetime. the next 11.11.11 will be 11.11.2111. wow, that's like....hmmp.

and the next jackpot date that everyone will be looking forward to is 12.12.12. well, it's just numbers anyway, but then again, depends on individuals it's more than just a nice number.

like the class that i am attending now, statistics, we play wif numbers, manipulating, interpreting and making assumptions based on numbers. for example, my lecturer was asking us whether there is a difference between the number 6 and 8 on the very first day of class. of course everyone said there is a difference, 8 is bigger than 6, 8-6=2, etc. but this is what he explain "in maths it is different, but in statistics, we don't know yet, it might be the same, there might be no difference, we haf to analyse it to make sure."

so, you know what now? there really is 1+1=3 in this world, you just have to interpret it based on your creativity ;p

okay, will sleep soon, coz more numbers to be interpret in class tomorrow. and we'll be having midterm soon. ohemgee. how time flies! wish me luck! :) many thanks.

p.s. 12.12.12. hmmp. will it be? :)

ourlovephotostory

2011-11-03T02:48:00.010+08:00

it's been years.

we have come a long way, long enough we understand gestures.

from a rock girl to a diamond chic.

from converse to coach.

from thin to chubby, i want thin one back please!

from a student to a working girl to a student back again.

supporting + teman-ing me study from degree to PhD.

from bringing me to see your friends to seeing all your family clan!

from a love relationship to being engaged.

many more love milestones hopefully achieved.

. . . . . .

forever and ever the love blooms and blossoms,

& may nothing come in between that can break us apart.

well,

if photos can really tell a story. here's a snippets.

*holding it in, i can't . . . tears!

i need a tissue.

a small, little update? :)

2011-10-10T01:13:00.004+08:00

i am in such a good mood now :) these past three days, we have been celebrating izal & lam's wedding (akad nikah, games, tea ceremony, bersanding as well as wedding reception) can't wait to share the photos from their wedding!

the best part about their wedding is that, they make it as personalized as possible which makes it so much fun & unique! i mean, who went to a wedding reception which staged rock performances, and they lined up bittersweet, they will kill us all as well as the azenders (izal performed too on his own wedding and dedicated a song for lam, *awwwwwww*) while the guests is having a very delicious chinese 9 course cuisine? sooo, awesome! *i was literally stomping my feet and head banging a bit, tapi control sikit la coz i'm all doll-ed & bling-ed up with diamonds and all ;p

and now, all i can think of is kz would be furious if he knows my calorie intake for the past three days! ops. must get back on track and start portion-ized back. teehee. till then, nite! :)

via htctp2.

2am nerve.

2011-09-30T01:47:00.006+08:00

it's almost 2am, and i am tossing and turning, can't sleep. well, not that i am not tired, i am. but here, i am blogging, how wide awake i am. usually i'll doze off easily after a cup of hot milo! but not tonight. sigh.

i think because i'm so scared or worried or "i don't know how to describe it actually". but one thing for sure, Insyaallah one day bila saya dah berjaya, i'll always reminisce "this" feeling. it is undescribable. the anxiety, the nerve. adoi. pedih. it IS definitely not easy.

owh, i've registered for one more subject, next semester. and it will be the last subject. the last one. for my course and my whole study level. it's so historic, i can't believe it sometimes. tak sabar nak habis! Insyaallah, hopefully i will pass. Amin.

got the result for one of the previous subject taken, and i Passed. Alhamdulillah. still waiting for another one. *takut sgt saya.

ape-ape pun, saya harap, everything will be smooth. Insyaallah. please always pray for the best for me. many thanks.

via htctp2.

adib si cikgu besar.

2011-09-22T00:44:00.005+08:00

guess who just suddenly called to just check on what i am doing {my progress} in the middle of the night? & what i really was doing, is browsing Dior's homepage & dreaming of Paris.

it's syg of course. i'm pretty sure u guessed it right teehee ;p

him : syg buat ape tu?
her : tgk tv with my macbook on as well, kenapa syg?
him : saja nak cek syg bt ape.
her : owh.
him : dah buat kerja ke belum.
her : yerrrr *sambil pujuk die suruh pegi tido balik ;p
him : buat la kerja, berbulan - bulan dah. *look at him exaggerating, mana ade berbulan2! huh.
her : *dush! kena bash with his words.
him : okayla, syg buat kerja tau.
her : okay, nite - nite syg.

10 mins later.

i am blogging this and you are reading it now :)

p.s. cikgu besar dah tido balik, jadi saya tak berapa takut dah haha.

p.s.s. shit, tetiba takut Dr Ong mengamuk kecik, okay2, target : end of this month! must!

.....

2011-09-15T22:23:00.003+08:00

umi, adib & me. in the car going somewhere.

her : bestnyaa, adib's cousin dapat offer kerja in Paris.
him : itula, tapi tak sure lagi, if jadi die duduk sana dalam setahun.
her : jom pegi syg!
umi : pegila, hujung tahun ni ke.
her : *uish umi bagi green light & sounds like she wants to sponsor! because she sponsored my little sister's Euro Trip before. duh!
him : .....
her : ha, jomla syg, kita pegiii *excited!
umi : duduk dua minggu ke, sebab seminggu mcm sekejap je kan.
her : *beams, maybe she really is going to sponsor, after all pegi Paris je kan.

.....

her : okay, bestnya! dua minggu, umi belanja eh?
umi : eih! use your own money la.
her : owh, okay. *alaaaa.

him : look at me sitting at the back through the mirror.
her : *sulk, nangis dalam hati. hmmp.

p.s. via htctp2

My version of Lemon-y Spaghetti.

2011-09-13T20:38:00.005+08:00

hi lovely readers! how are you? blows blog, it looks dusty, teehee. okay, let me share wif you the recipe of this lemon-y spaghetti that i love soooo much. actually someone requested for it and i am more than happy to share it. *blushing! :)

My version of Lemon-y Spaghetti {for 1 person}

Ingredients

spaghetti

a little oil {olive/sunflower} or any oil that you use in your kitchen.

1 piece garlic {minced}

1 shallot {sliced}

½ onion {sliced}

1 - 2 pieces of fresh red chili/dried chili {quarter or you can cut it smaller if you prefer}

5 - 8 pieces of prawns

½ lemon

salt and pepper to taste

crispy popcorn chicken & a slice of lemon

How to?

first step : put spaghetti in a pot of water, cook till al dente, drain and set aside. keep a cup of the starchy water to use later.

second step : add in oil in a hot non-stick pan, add in garlic. stir. add in shallot. stir. add in onion and chili. stir till well combined.

third step : add in the prawns and let it cook nicely.

fourth step : add in the spaghetti, stir lightly. if it looks a little dry, put in some of the starchy water. if not, no need.

fifth step : squeeze in that lovely lemon! :) add salt + pepper to taste. i prefer white pepper. mix well.

sixth step : taste. for me, it must be rich wif lemon, zing from the garlic, and a little spicy from the chili and pepper, done!

seventh step : serve wif crispy popcorn chicken & a slice of lemon. best eaten when it's hot. bon appetite!

p.s. hope you love it & happy trying! :)

get ready to feast your eyes and gulp, teehee ;p

2011-08-29T10:54:00.001+08:00

so, i've been baking, i mean, this month's post is basically all about baking cakes and making cookies hehe, thanks for keep coming back to see this novice baker's progress, teehee.

so, this Mini Little Chocolate Cake, was made by me, alone! supervised by umi of course, ops, i mean, all was supervised by umi + opah, of course! ;)

lovely Honey Cornflakes w Nutty Dust, been wanting to make these cute little cuppies of sweet cornflakes for such a long time, only now, i haf the time + courage to get it done myself. so happy! this is the second try though ;)

loving it!

Chocolaty Nutty Cornflakes, a little twist from the normal Honey one.

opah made these, Biskut Arab, so yummy and succulent to the tastebud & it also melts in your mouth! yummy-ness oooozee-ing.

coat-ed it w dust of Icing Sugar, pretty!~

My first Chocolaty Choc Chip Cookie, so happy that I, ME, managed to haf the guts to baked these aloneeee without asking umi or opah for supervision, and while baking it, opah, was like "what r u doing?" "nothinggg" "what nothing? it smells so good, I want to see & taste whatever that is you are baking, NOW!" {she's in her room praying, so she malas to come and haf a look ;p} and i was over the moon listening to that comments haha.

made this w Kaklong ;p we both don't know what we're doing and hence the ugly assembling. this is the first try actually and the second one is the pretty one up there hehe, of which i manage to figure out the tricks by imaginary-ly getting a light bulb over my head, and used the mini cuppies holder to assemble it easily & make it look pretty! Honey Cornflakes w Nuts this is!

the first pretty one, drop off the mold, by me ;)

Traditional Semperit, made these w opah for the second time, the first batter was the picture i shared in the previous post :)

itu sahaja buat masa ini, 100% Homemade, kalau rajin saya masuk dapur lagi hehe. so, what's your raya cookie? open house jemputla kami rasa :)

YouCam-ing on Samsung.

2011-08-28T15:36:00.005+08:00

how do we look? ;p

confetti us, weeee.

peaceful-ness :)

owh, btw, a little note from us, especially for you . . . .
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haf a good one wif your loved ones ya :)

My Version of Roti Jala w Chic & Potato Curry :)

2011-08-25T15:52:00.000+08:00

i think it's quite crazy to see people whipping and flipping and folding up flour and sell it for a dollar! it's the most expensive one i've encounter so far. bazar ramadhan i saw like fifty cent and my sister told that she once bought it for seventy cent. it still is quite expensive, it's ridiculous, dang! *i mean, kalau takde masa sebab kerja, okeyla pegi beli, tapi kalau duduk rumah bole masuk dapur bancuh tepung sendiri pun nak beli .... hmmp ;p

so, i decided to learn the art through youtube btw and try to make one at home myself, just so that i can eat it as much as i want! :) roti jala is also known as net bread btw.

cook the curry first, it's umi's recipe, and while the curry is boiling on the stove, get the batter ready, opah's recipe, and flip and fold and flip and fold and flip and fold the mixture sampai siap, bole tertido i tell you haha.

My Version of Roti Jala w Chic & Potato Curry ready to be served, nyum!

p.s. salivating already? ask your mom the recipe, to make your version now. hehe.

buka puasa together.

2011-08-24T14:41:00.007+08:00

it's magical how Ramadhan can make everyone eat together during buka puasa no matter how busy the daily life schedule is, i mean in normal ordinary other month, it's hard to come by unless planned ahead. like the other day, everyone just happen wants to come over and crowd the house all at the same time just to celebrate the together-ness of buka puasa. it's amazing.

and it also means, a whole lot of bazar food + home cook meal to choose from~ Alhamdulillah.

and the chaos during the azan, omg i tell you, "pass me the ribena, pass me the satay, pass me this, pass me that... was all you can hear in the room. though frantically chaotic as it may seems, it really is filled with love. nobody can deny this, i'm sure.

and guess what i made for dessert? some cupcakes! mini's and large ones. but, tak sempat nak buat the buttercream though. hee. next time next time.

my first try, and am proud of it :) never thought that i could have the confident to make these kind of cupcakes before. and to see that everyone tried it, *except umi though, she's very hard to pleased. from nephew to his friend to kaklong to dekna to adib to opahhh, i feel very satisfied. it's actually edible! no one sakit perutt ;p yeay!

Double Choc Moist Cupcakes baked with love :x *checked!

raya cookie love story :x

2011-08-24T06:19:00.007+08:00

him : i bought u a pineapple & blueberry tart.
her : owh, why? (i bake my own, remember?, but i don't plan to make tart walaupun i love it so much! tak sempat nak buat/belajar semua jenis lagipun, raya dah dekat)
him : hmmp, because i love u-lah :)

her : syg, i made kuih opah-opah, semperit.
him : owh, nanti adib rasa k?
her : i save u the first (beautiful *at least to me*) one i made!
him : owh, why?
her : because i love u-lahhhh! *heee.

via htctp2.

raya cookie in the house baby!

2011-08-18T14:41:00.003+08:00

for being darn lazy to mobile upload the photo to fb, here is the photo taken by macbook photo booth for your little viewing pleasure petang-petang, before waktu berbuka puasa ni. heeeee.

yes, that's the cookie i told you about in the previous post, so yummy! homemade rustic looking cookie and pretty looking store bought cookie, i'm sure everyone prefers the rustic looking one right? heehe. opah hide it in the room just so that it'll last till raya. i doubt it, or so i say. teehee.

next batch up, after i'm done submitting my assignment paperwork! curbing that baking crave so tight-ly now~

cookie monster!

2011-08-16T03:26:00.002+08:00

just bake a small first batch of little munch-able cookies. super nyummm, very bad for diet ;p

& i am now, indeed, covered w flour, dust w crumbs and smells of vanilla, butter and sugar & definitely loving it! :)

okay, need some sleep now, nite!

via htctp2.

cari je dalam internet tuuu - opah

2011-08-12T16:09:00.005+08:00

so, kuih raya.

u know i've been google-ing right, to learn how to bake, to find recipe and such. and i somehow ter-teach opah that we can always google on whatever recipe that we want or desire to cook, to bake etc. like before she peek-ed and saw i was learning on youtube on how to make roti jala and she's so excited!, nanti i share my roti jala version kay, haha. *owowh, now i got two pending post, pizza and roti jala. heeee. jap yee :)

owhhhhhh, she said. then opah takpayah suruh dekna beli buku recipe dah! kamu bole cari dalam internet. dalam computer tuuuu, wif a grin lagi tu. happy die.

and guess what?

ani, opah nak recipe masak pindang, semua jenis masak pindang. kamu cari kat internet tu eh. buat buku. i was like ............................. okey ;p

now, i got a new special assignment to add up to my thesis. owowh. hicks!

ramadhan note.

2011-08-11T23:19:00.003+08:00

i am ani, my sister is ana. and she is away, studying.

opah : ana, tolong amik tu.
me : okey (without correcting)
opah : ani.

umi : deknaaaaa.
me : hmmp (without correcting)
umi : eh, ani.

i don't correct them because it's kinda normal. the switching names i mean. masa arwah abah ade dulu pun arwah abah selalu panggil nama terbalik - terbalik macam tu. dahla anak die ade enam orang. bayangkan. besham jadi bengah, kaklong jadi kaklina. ani jadi ana. haha. i guess, when someone thinks/miss someone, they tend to call the person that they are thinking/missing of.

but, when these happen. it's kinda put our thoughts on hold for awhile and gulp the imaginery sad tears pouring.

opah : harun (my uncle, her only son, who passed away few years ago) tolong panaskan air.
me : .....

me : ala abah kat bawah kerusi tuuu (looking at opah who's sitting on arwah abah's lazy chair)
opah : .....

:'(

Al-Fatihah.

via htctp2.

tgh sahur ke?~ teehee.

2011-08-10T03:37:00.005+08:00

i currently am is collecting recipes to bake some raya cookies, heee. so, bercita - cita tinggi, i tell you. i haf like 7 - 8 recipes of cookies and cakes to get my kitchen flour-ed upon :) w the supervision of umi & opah of course.

well, hopefully, jadi! ;p especially for a never bake a cookie before girl like me. teehee.

random rabble.

2011-08-04T14:32:00.002+08:00

so far this Ramadhan haf been great, Alhamdulillah. busy wif preparing for buka puasa, sahur, random daily chores, wajib responsibilities and the most important thing, my research.

i've been so engross into my research that my sleeping pattern haf gone haywire! i don't really know whether i haf slept for today or not. it's like i sleep whenever i feel like and i think i've lost track of the time and the day that i haf slept for. man, it's scary.

and when a friend {my classmate} called me just now, and she was asking what m i doing, i said, i'm sleeping! {she'd probably think i'm such a lazy girl!} damn.

but what the heck, i'd love to think that i haf put all my effort in, in preparing for my final class presentation and can't wait to get it over and done with. hopefully the result + the comments is positive. please. Insyaallah.

in terms of the puasa part, it's only the fourth day and guess what? i've gained weight instead of losing it! damn damn damn, it is so freaking hard for me to push that rice + the savoury dish + the dessert away! adoi, i haf to cutback, change and go back into my discipline mode. and any decimal point lost is consider damn freaking great. yeah, really. i am that desperate to lose it ;p

so, today i feel like making roti jala and chicken curry for buka puasa, can i really only eat that? hmmp. i really don't know. erk!

owh owh, i'm currently watching that nora elena drama on tv3. it's at 2 am. finally i know what the rave is all about, kinda ketinggalan zaman a bit, but it's okay.

okay okay, i'll stop here, enjoy your puasa.

i'm being evil and will leave you wif this photo of my favourite char kuew teow!

this one is from SS2 and yes, i am salivating too! ;) kita sabar okay, heee.

some blond moment i had!

2011-08-02T08:37:00.001+08:00

i'm new to baking. yes, i know you know. i am just stating :)

so, as usual, syg would always find a way to tease me about it.

him : syg.
her : ha.
him : do you know that...
her : what?
him : serbuk penaik kalau letak dalam kolam ikan boleh buat ikan gemukkkkkk.
her : eyyyyyhhhhh? *without thinking.
him : a ah.
her : owwwwh *& looking at him.
him : *making a silly face.
her : *realized that she is being conned!

him & her : burst into teary laughter thinking of the silly-ness!

damn, some blond moment i had, that i feel like smacking myself hard as i am sharing it wif you here! haha!

p.s. takpe syg, tengokla nanti i buka kedai bakery nanti baru tahu. huh! :) love u.

umi and arwah abah travelling story my uncle shared on youtube.

2011-08-01T22:20:00.000+08:00

teary watching this. abah, you're always in my prayer you know that, i wish. Insyaallah. Al-Fatihah.

boo!~

2011-08-01T14:01:00.010+08:00

yes, i am back. been meditating to find the inner peace + happiness and to forget about all the jiffy issues. and i am super happy! Alhamdulillah. Thank you Ya Allah.

and thanks to syg + everyone! for motivating me during my super rough time. now, i will try my very best to be positive and only view the highlights that's happening in mylife. Insyaallah :)

so, i've been oven-izing {still owe you the photostory of my pizza, stay tune y'all! :)} & is super excited about it. as all or at least some of you may know, i am scared of the oven. i won't go near it or even think of using it, as i'm terrified that whatever i put in there might not come out as what it is supposed to look like! ;p

but, being bored and out of idea of what to do besides words crunching and researching {my priority!} i decided to befriended the oven and make a cake, yes, a cake! heeee. first thing first, shopping for the baking stuffs.

me being over-ly excited, i wore this while walking around picking up stuffs. hehehe. *syg literally was so ashamed he left me wif the trolley ;p

the stuffs.

tadaaaa, my lovely white & pink mixer, mixing it up for the first time!

& of course i did not do this alone, umi guide me through the process, reciting the recipe and here's the final cake mixture, straight into my mini little oven ;)

sitting in front of the oven waiting, and this is the outcome for not being patient, heee, i poke the cake for like five times to check whether it's cooked or not, hehehehe. after like 45 mins' to an hour in a 180'C mini little oven, ting!~

let it rest for a good 10 mins' to 15 mins', anddd here goes, the moment of truth! ;D hoping that it won't stick!

what a relief! it slips off the pan nice-ly and pretty-ly, i am sooooo happy!

dust it wif a little icing sugar to make it look super hot and sexy! *baker tricks hehe.

loving the look of my little orange cake! moist to the taste wif a yummy crunchy cracking bits plus a delicious wonderful aroma too :) Alhamdulillah. i did it. *me and umi did actually! heee.

& i officially loves baking! will definitely do more of it and try other recipes as well. *grins!

p.s. Selamat Berpuasa semua :)

papercut.

2011-07-27T03:07:00.004+08:00

the other day i got a papercut. a papercut from bills. as much as it is a painful cut, it sure is more painful to bear. but, life moves, it wont stop, as long as we're here.

as much as i needed a well deserve break, it slips slowly as like i said, life moves. and if it is not filled with hopes and dreams, then, it will just move empty-ly.

Insyaallah, with my hopes so high and my dreams so dear, i wish to haf a wonderful life here in the world as well as later there in heaven.

as early as it may seems, Happy Ramadhan. let us all cherish it wif our loved ones. Insyaallah, for as long as we live.

via htctp2.

Giant madness.

2011-07-24T01:06:00.001+08:00

we went to Giant at around 12 pm after brunch today. almost empty, easy to park and lots of stuff still available on the rack. great.

and for that also we were greeted wif an overwhelming attention by the salesperson trying very hard to market their product to us. they're almost on every lane! omg. there's some very pushy ones we just feel like running away, some don't really know what they are talking about it makes us blur too, some not that motivated we fell asleep, and some very loud ones it annoys we just ignore em', really. so sorry for that ya!

for the very nice ones which we can't say no to, we simply put the stuff in our cart even if we don't need em', so that they'll let us go easily and happily. and guess what happen after that? we literally played hide and seek because we don't wanna hurt the salesperson feeling, just so that we can actually take the stuff that we really want on that lane! ;p but they did noticed me putting the marketed stuff back and grabbing another one! (ops sorry, you did a great job, but i don't need em'! ;p) me and adib were laughing so hard and walked away slowly, tip-toe-ing, heee. some Giant madness we will remember forever ;p

owh, Ramadhan & Syawal will be here soon enough and all the cookie-making utensils is out! yay. i so want to get the baking set and start experimenting baking. please happen, please.

and for dinner just now, i make my version of homemade pizza for our couple month-iversary. it's an adhoc decided menu while shopping after few other familiar ones. i'm so happy that it turned out edible and yummy! considering it is my first time making pizza and there's no recipe guidelines in hand. just improvising and putting the puzzles together. will share the photostory later :)

okayla, sleepy. bye!

DW3, Daycare, SMC.

2011-07-21T13:23:00.005+08:00

umi is undergoing a minor surgery now while i am waiting at this daycareward for outpatient. i am hungry and i don't know what to eat. i feel numb to sadness and immune to pain. i'm distracting myself away by sharing a thing or two in here.

so, umi being a little vain pot that she is, she did her manicure and pedicure while waiting just now. she said she doesn't want to be judged lazy or dirty or even ugly by the doctor. such a vain she is! ;p

being someone who wouldn't settle for less and want more and more, she manage to make me morphed to someone better and better and would not want to settle for less too. before this, SPM pun i sambil lewa je. imagine this, me : umi, i got four flat! (for my Master's final result) umi : owh, Alhamdulillah, congratulations. me : smiles happily. (other mother would throw a feast if they heard that i suppose, but not umi. you know what she said after that?) umi : okey, now do your PhD. me : okey and feeling a little bit sad. can't she acknowledge that a little bit more? urgh. but that is just her way, of pushing me to be better, which i manage to capture after years of being her daughter.

sometimes, i think it is magical the way she's pushing me to be orang yang berguna dan berpelajaran (and she almost succeeded because i already am here and all i need to do is not be lazy and just go through all the hardcore presentation and exam) which is good for my future, Insyaallah, but at times, of course, being a normal human being with feelings i would feel the pressure. of getting things right. of being better. of being perfect. and that's why sometimes, when i do not know what else to do, where else to go, or the study is too hard to handle, i cry.

now, where was i, umi is doing her minor surgery and i am super hungry. till then. your pray for umi's good health and my success is all i can ask for, for now. coz, i want her to still be around to push me harder. i don't mind, coz she is my mom. million thanks! i can't pay you, but Insyaallah, Allah will.

via htctp2.

july issue.

2011-07-18T22:37:00.003+08:00

when we are apart, we missed each other so much, we video call-ed. just a few days ago, we quarrel so stupid-ly and hated each others guts just because we don't know how to arrange time for us to see each other anymore just so that we can also make time and satisfy the needs of others around us too. because all we want to do is spent time together only. sucker for love we are, but that's just how we are, hopefully forever this way i wish.

july, the month of long and stressful study week. anxious, nervous and scary but it is something that i can't run away from. it sure feels long, but each time i see the calendar, i literally feel i am in august already. OMG.

syg on the other hand, scored a really nice counter offer and proven that he is one valuable asset instead of liability. so happy for him! Alhamdulillah. keep it up k syg.

in terms of me getting used to not having any cash inflow, it sure does felt terrible, having to cut down to only onethird of the usual spending, i am chocked. plus to my dismay, series of unexpected cash outflow surfaces wif a domino effect mode. adoi! sabar je lah.

syg's word of advice : biar je semua tu, all that is something unavoidable, so just go through it and forget about it. focus on your study and make it worth it by getting good result.

then i feel like crying. the road to success sure is not easy. Ya Allah gif me steel strength. please. okaybye.

secawan bengkel & sepinggan bengkek.

2011-07-11T15:08:00.004+08:00

i am now at a workshop waiting for my little car to be fixed. NOW, that's what crazy freaking normal true life is. when there's a little or no income generation, the more outflow it is. that's God's job i believe, to see whether i can survive His test. and what more can i do? pasrah je la & really-really hope that life will find it's way out off trouble naturally.

i can't go and get crazily mad at this small little-little things that's bugging me. i just haf to go through it, get it off the scene and move on. no matter what.

via htctp2.

Ruzz Aladdin & Jasmine :)

2011-07-07T19:12:00.007+08:00

woke up at around 10.30am, and straightaway syg called {either he knows i just woke up or it's just our love instinct, heeeee}

her : syg jom lunch same-same today.
him : tgkla, adib kat luar ni, takut busy.
her : hmmp, bye.

text him after that :
jom la lunch same-same.

he replied :
if syg jadi datang lunch, we go makan nasi briyani okey.

me :
rushed upstairs for a quick shower. blow my hair with the natural air blowing in from my car window while driving and i am ready!

text him back :
i am on my way! :)

so, at first i thought we were going to mamak restaurant {kata nasi briyani kan} but no, he brought me to Ampang Ruz Aladdin Nasi Briyani Gam.

heeee, bestnye, so Princess Jasmine-y lunch treat :) thanks syg.

waiting for the food.

nak jugak snap same pose :)

the food is here! so yummy :)

entree : Popia Goreng

his : Nasi Briyani Ayam Kampung

hers : Nasi Briyani Daging Lembu

drinks : Mango Juice & Lychee Sirap Bandung

the food portion is quite big {it's definitely match the price tag} for a person on diet, i had to share the rice wif syg... & he's more than happy to eat it! :)

we left feeling happy and wanted to come again especially with the very fast and friendly service, pretty and comfy ambiance and definitely the yummy-licious food spread. they also haf westerns & noodles. i'll be dreaming of that Mee Rebus tonight! *drools.

here's the address, if you're salivating already :)

Ruz Aladdin Restaurant - Briyani Gam Johor
Lot 1243, Jalan Ulu Klang,
Batu 4, Ampang Point,
68000 Ampang, Selangor, Malaysia.

i am terrified.

2011-07-06T23:51:00.006+08:00

i'm watching this masterchef Australia 2 now.

they're in Paris this episode. in my mind i am imagining myself there as a tourist.

in terms of the competition, i'm synchronizing wif my situation of being a student, standing in front of all the panel members, hearing them commenting on my presentation.

i can somewhat feel what they are feeling hypothetically, as mine is only imaginatively scheduled to be held end of this year Insyaallah. *& of which hopefully will be okay! please.

for the time being, i am so scared each time i am preparing for a class presentation. all round scared.

but, like one of my classmate put it while we were having a light brunch after class "you don't expect them to say, owh, you're good, you did great, you are ready!?" and i think that is almost quite right, especially at this early stage of the course, and that manage to put me at ease.

but of course, i'd like to stay positive and take any bitter smack down comments as a challenge for me to become better. not to be demotivated or shit. coz, yes, i've come a long way, i've received pretty much a variety of types of rejections.

the last time i presented in front of the first professor {our class is lead by two professor lecturing alternately} his harsh comments basically make me think so deep and lead me to twisting my life threehundredsixtydegree. yes, he's one of the reason i made my decision to quit my job.

and coincidentally the second presentation was with another professor, so i could not get to hear his comment after i quit. because of course, i'd like to know whether i haf improved or not. and presenting the enhance version of the first presentation to the second professor, i never imagine i'd get a positive comment, just a little, a very little one in fact. but at least the comment is better than before and i know i am improving, baby steps that is. & at that time, i'm ecstatic! you haf no idea. Alhamdulillah.

and now, as i am typing this, i am terrified, because this coming Friday, i am going to present to the first professor who's going to hear the enhance version of the second presentation. and i reckon, he'll be mean ;p

i don't know, hopefully, he'll haf a good lunch and not that mean. please. please. please! & yes, i'm scared :'(

tears of love.

2011-07-05T02:38:00.009+08:00

a little conversation over the phone on a monday evening which lead me to tears of love.

her : syg, let's date each other only once a month.
him : what?
her : saja je, so that you'll miss me more.
him : that's not a good idea.
her : ala, jom la, let's give it a try.
him : ....
her : syg?
him : NO, i cannot not see you.
her : ....
him : syg?
her : *! out of word, wif tears slowly pouring.

let's say it together now, aWWWWWW!

i'm blessed, Alhamdulillah.

via htctp2.

beef and potato curry puff story.

2011-07-01T23:33:00.005+08:00

a quick, quick one. as i am in the middle of diving into my journals to get ready for tomorrow's presentation {yes, yet another one} i think all you'd here me talk later is about presentations. owh, i feel so blessed. Alhamdulillah. Thanks Ya Allah & everyone of course {okey, i wont write my Oscar speech yet, wait till that perfect right moment comes, Insyaallah!}

i wanted to stop for a while and write in here just to share with you the moments, moments i find very touching and so that i wont be so kiddish again and go merajuk tak tentu pasal lagi {though i reckon, i still will, hah}

guess what opah is doing at this very moment? she's preparing my breakfast tomorrow, beef and potato curry puff i requested earlier, because she knows i am going to class, to study, die tanak cucu die ni kelaparan sbb kelas pagi sangat-sangat. in fact she did it every week, every time. but today, i happen to pass by the kitchen and saw it *touched! & tears, of joy of course.

you know, the very main reason i assume that she stays here is to look after us? odd ain't it? the old one looking after the young one. hmmp. but i know that's her real intention, to make sure we are okey. she just don't know how to express it, but i just know, based on her actions.

she takes care of umi's breakfast, lunch, dinner, supper, basically meals. and you know what's more crazy? when dekna informed that she wants to come back, opah would prepare a separate meal just for her, or if she's somewhat lazy, she'd "hide" some for her from our meals portion.

awwww! though i would be annoyed of her bebelan and all, opah! we all love you! {and now, the world knows it, literally} and deep down, i know you know it too.

movie date.

2011-06-30T01:25:00.005+08:00

her: syg, jomla tgk kungfu panda.
him: adib nak tgk green lantern.
her: tanakla tgk green lantern.
him: kenapa?
her: heeeee, macam budak2 je green lantern tu.
him: habis kungfu panda tu tak mcm budak2?
her: .....

ops. *jaw dropping moments like that, i feel like hiding under his shirt! ;p

then, we settle for kl gangster. not bad for a malay flick. especially in comparison to kongsi. next one up, it's gonna be transformers 3D. hopefully it wont be disappointing like what pirates of the C did.

via htc.

can i haf myboyfriend back please?

2011-06-16T03:23:00.001+08:00

reason being, coz, i really-really miss myboyfriend. toooo much it cuts me. so yes, i want him back. can i?

i want a schnecken now!

2011-06-08T14:19:00.003+08:00

it's been a week.

and now it is 2.16 pm & i am sleepy + somewhat lazy to read read read. owh man .... please go away laziness.

+ i want a schnecken now! now. now now.

leaving for a scroll . . .

2011-05-31T11:39:00.007+08:00

you know why the label of anything regarding my career is stated as Career Love? it's because when the day i started to write about it, i am not sure whether i am going to love it or not. and apparently, today mark the day that i don't.

not that i hate it, it's just that, i still haf an unfinished life's priority. i haf to complete my study.

being in this corporate world, well, it sure does teaches me a lot. this brutal world, if i may call it, i am indeed not ready and not yet fully equipped to be completely infuse into it and hence the defuse. & little by little the wonderful fantasy about being content of being a leader in a high rise tall building, about being a lady wif the nose stuck up in the air walking, slowly subside as, you know why? well, you figure it out, in your own perspectives. because, if i am to write it in here it'll be full of political, sarcasm, relationship and sensitivity area, which is not good.

to say that i will miss all the drama and the pressure i experienced here, yes, i will, but at the same time, it is something that i don't wish to be into again. the lesson learned, the heart bruised, the ego crush, the spirit squash will only makes me tougher and to be ahead of things, to think fast, and resolve issue not just meddle wif it, & definitely makes me more open to the real life issue. i'm not as naive as before.

yes, i am somewhat satisfied wif the money and i am a bit drawn towards the really nice treats i received from the people here but i cannot be stingy. i really can't cope working & studying at the same time.

and, i am quite lucky in a sense that my parents supports me, and they haf also implant in my mind, that the most important thing in life is actually EDUCATION not work. and, jump-ing of the career wagon without much hesitant basically lies in this particular line that arwah abah always said to me :

"belajar kuat - kuat."

he NEVER said to me to "kerja kuat - kuat." in fact, when he's alive, i NEVER work {i'll share that part of a little story in a different post if i may} so, by holding to that particular phrase, i make my decision. i decide.

umi supports my decision the moment i blurt it out. in fact, she's the one who urge me to leave a.s.a.p. in order for me to concentrate on my study. my little sister, ask when is my last day at work, the other day she called. adib promise to support me. & opah, still don't know, actually haha. we're {me & umi} scared to tell her ;p

and by now, yes i will miss the people, the environment, the friends, the money, the food, the fast pace life, the back to back meetings, the running in heels, the pressure, the shits etc, and of course this little table and chair i am sitting in this office right now, but, i would not trade it for the scroll that i am chasing now.

hopefully, i will get it. Amin. Insyaallah. please pray for me people. thank you very much.

ho hoi, gaji dah masuk u!~

2011-05-27T09:47:00.003+08:00

gaji gaji gaji,

yesterday dah masuk as been rave upon by all of us. and as i arrived to the office today, the first thing i log on to is Maybank2u.

jumping in my seat literally and wow-ed in my heart silently, i smiled a little.

well, it is indeed the last one for this time around. hopefully, later, when the next pay is in, i can buy the world. literally. Insyaallah.

mini little pancake by kasuma.

2011-05-24T15:51:00.003+08:00

yes, i'd like to share my version of mini little pancake recipe hihi.

ingredients

just the regular pancake mixture. "yes, the one that you can just add water / milk. in my version, water suffice."

the burned version : {step 1} pour the pancake mixture onto a nice hot pan, {step 2} multitask; wash the pile of dishes, wipe the wet floor, etc. & {step 3} come back to the pan and flip the cake. there, that's how u'd get my version of burned pancake =D

the original version : repeat {step 1}, {step 2} stand in front of the pan and wait for it to bubble, {step 3} flip the cake. almost perfect mini little pancake, nyum!

the choc chips version : repeat {step 1}, repeat {step 2} of the original version + scribble as much as choc chips that you like. & repeat {step 3} of the original version. cute polka choc chips of mini little pancake ready, super nyum! ;)

served wif nutella and definitely perfect for 2. enjoy! hihi.

p.s. cook at your own risk. teehee.

love-cuffs.

2011-05-24T10:10:00.004+08:00

i think i am guilty as charge. i admit. i should be hmmpppp, love-cuffs! k syg.

you know how girls always gets so blissfully happy when a guy remembers to wish for the anniversary + monthiversary & even better buy her a flower + present, and gets all pout-y when he forgot all about it. and almost all of the little love cases that happen, the guy always forgot and the girl always always remember or wait for it?

in my case, as usual, its the twist of it.

and i think, i did it more than twice! boohoo. bad me. bad me. {i will try to improve, promise, promise} but to my defense, i simply forgot, because i was busy wif stuffs & things {lame ain't it?}

but wait, here's the real story behind it . . . . . . . . . . . . there's once, when we were in a car together going somewhere, his phone beep and guess what was it? a REMINDER! hah, now i know how he almost ALWAYS remembers it. he set a reminder for it. well, after catching him for being a cheater, his defense was far far away from lame, i chocked.

he said something like this "at least i make an effort to remember." jaw dropping answer like that, what else can i say ;p

at that time, i am crying an invisible tears. i feel like i don't really deserve him. i'm such a bad girlfriend / fiancé. {huuuuuu} really, i am truly really is sad and bengang wif myself.

but whateverrrrrrr it is, negativity set aside, i try to lighten it up and make a silly little rule proposal that is directly being rejected by him as i utter it out because of the bias-ness and really i don't blame him. we just laugh it off! you wanna know what the rule is?

the one who remembers must buy a present! ;p heeeee.

what's on my mind . . . now.

2011-05-19T12:03:00.004+08:00

do you haf this urge of doing something at home while you are busy working in the office, but then when you go home, you just say "forget about it, i just want to sleep!/rest/chill." ? well, that is almost always the dilemma of an employee who's employed. and when things are not done/fulfilled, blame the work. yes, that's life.

in my case, it's a little different. i can twist it a little. in fact it is so twisted, i hope the twist will not be tangled up. in simple words, i can make a choice of doing what i want & what i think is really is important for now. i choose to be a full time student back, again. which not many people can. and for that, i am truly grateful to Allah S.W.T. Alhamdulillah. lets just hope the choice i made is really is a good one.

so, now, there's a lot of things running in my mind of which i want to do {besides studying so religiously, of course!} right after my official one month resignation notice ends. some of it are :

{okay, let's make this post like a little checklist for me} ;p

1) change my mode of study - part time to full time.

2) learn to bake and make it a point to really bake this time. hangus pun hangus la. but must bake!

3) go jogging. at least jog turun naik second floor pun enough.

4) sleeeeeeeeep.

figural & numeral

2011-05-19T10:28:00.003+08:00

looking at my little rainbow stats, i feel amazed. i never thought that what i am writing here haf a reader somewhere, there :)

if you know one of the reason on why i started blogging, you'll be laughing your head off at how silly and naive i was back then. one thing for sure, this is definitely not my first blog! teehee.

i bet, you're wondering what the reason is right? ;p don't wanna share it. too shy. *blush!

shoutout!

2011-05-16T17:32:00.004+08:00

just wanna make a little shoutout to all my friends especially from school till U years.

I MISS YOU ALL SO FREAKING MUCH

I FEEL LIKE CRYING!!!!!

ah, feel better.

jumping off the career wagon, i am.

2011-05-11T10:15:00.005+08:00

okay, updates updates.

sorry to you readers for clicking and seeing there's no updates. i've been meditating and hibernating ;p

so, the hot news now is about my sudden and crazy decision of resigning. i haf reached a point in life where i haf to make a choice. and that involves an abrupt change of my current way of living. well, i am used to the 9-6 chaotic corporate drama shits and to not haf that is kinda like hmmp, too free?

but of course i have a strong reason. i want to concentrate on my PhD. so, too free is out of the way, as i will be struggling and squeezing my ideas out. which definitely lead to a new stress level building, the pressure of getting it done!

the news of the resignation spread so fast even the one i don’t expect to know, knows. well, of course there’s a mix reactions to it, good as well as bad,

like for example, i can never forget this very sad statement coming from someone who is living and breathing the same air as me, i mean, i pity you seriously, where were you when our Prime Minister talks about Vision 2020 ? the statement goes something like this :

“buat apa belajar tinggi-tinggi, nanti dah kahwin, duduk kat dapur je”
i was stunt and think carefully before answering and my suave-ly response comes out. of course, i try very hard, to not sound berlagak, riak, takbur, sombong and all that la,
“takpe, nanti i duduk kat dapur i ade PhD…"*giggles~

and after that, making sure i, myself, positify the negative statement, Insyaallah, i will try my very best to get it. Insyaallah.

okay, the thing about jumping off the career wagon is that, it has a lot of challenges coming ahead of me, and of course being a girl who already knows the pleasure of having my own hard earned pocket money, i am scared. like so scared i count every single cent i use!

i've tried so hard to convince umi and adib to support me, & alhamdulillah, i got their support. my little sister knows a little bit or two about the news and she also wants to support by wanting to lend her ear to listen. but she herself is damn busy wif Master's, i don't haf the heart to disturb. coz, ya, i freaking know what it's like! i've been there. and opah, hmmp, i don't know how to tell her, i'll leave that to my mom ;p

as far as the office procedure is concern, i manage to talk to the one who matters nicely and they somehow understand my situation and even gif me the assurance that i can come back anytime that i want. well, hopefully their sweet mouth don't spit bitter saliva. Insyaallah.

now that i really am is counting the days to go, as i put down one month notice of resignation period, i do feel sad to leave. i mean, who doesn't right ?

& what i truly crazily want now is to get my PhD done, with of course, flying colors results. Amin. Insyaallah. thank you very much for your support family, fiancé & friends!

Reactions & Reviews

2011-05-05T16:18:00.003+08:00

regarding The Resignation.

lots of it,

i feel like i haf a super power magic spell to make me disappear.

Ya Allah, i need help, really badly :((

drum roll, please .....

2011-05-03T17:20:00.003+08:00

announcing the news of the century, haha

i am contemplating of resigning since Friday 29 April 2011 {historic date ni} ;p due to the over-stressed state that i am in.

and after talking and communicating my points and pondering upon so many variables, i had to make the decision, fast.

today, i did the first stage of communication wif the person who matters, separately and to my surprise both of em' haf two almost similar lines which i summarized to a little simpler version, which is :

if you wish to work in this company again next time,

we will definitely recommend you

for the top level management ...

{ahh, i feel blessed!}

well, future, i do not know what's exactly install for me, and due to that, i haf to be equipped well, andddd praying for the best is definitely a good idea!

ten years ago . . . . .

2011-04-25T11:35:00.004+08:00

you know the feeling of how life brings you to a point that you realize that you are somewhere you don't even think that you'd be in ten years time? you're not crazily happy, but at the same time, not entirely sad la. okey-okey je la . . .

well, at least that's what happen to me & adib yesterday while we were chilling at home watching Junior MasterChef Finale with opah baca quran, umi sembahyang and dekna upstairs . . . .

he was so into the show that he go and make himself a simple little dish of a couple of sausages + bread + extra ingredients which i think is really unnecessary ;p *like the white pepper on a black pepper sausage? huh?

well that's because, he wanted to be a chef 11 years ago, and me, i wanted to be an interior designer, yes, it's already 10 freakin' years ago! but our parents did not approve of what was in our mind back then, hence we are where we are now.

and of course we have reached to that moment of in ten years from now, i want to be a . . . . . . . . moment.

and we realized that what our parents haf decided for us, which they think is the best for us, is really is the best.

you know why? coz, if we were to be rebellious-ly crazy and chose the path that we wanted to take before, we'd be . . . . . .

"adib : you, yes, you, please clean up the sotong {squid}

and prepare for all the other dish for the coming wedding

in our hotel ballroom tomorrow.

{acting as an Executive Chef in a well renowned Hotel}"

"kasuma : yes Datin Sri, i will paint and make sure your daughter's room

is in PINK color, together wif butterfly motifs. okey.

{acting as an Interior Designer for a high end project}"

and yes, all this will take place on weekends! damn, there goes our precious weekends. Thank God, we didn't follow through wif what we dumb-ly want. if not, we will not even be in this conversation + acting it out face to face together in front of the tv enjoying chocolates and snacks. though we don't really love it {hopefully, there will be a better opportunity for us later, Insyaallah} but at least we can enjoy our weekends together! :)

yaikss! parents truly knows whats best.

pavi-licious-ly good!

2011-04-19T10:45:00.005+08:00

I'm in so much stress now i couldn't even sleep not thinking about things. but i can't just fly and leave things behind undone. thus, travel therapy is definitely a no-no.

so, what other therapy a girl can do to de-stress? yes, you shopaholic i know you're thinking of the same thing too. retail therapy! =D

so, off we fly to pavilion.

as every shopaholic would know, this is the place where we applaud to the person who discovers the rule of import and export! we need not fly to get to the things we want, the things flew here!

but, yes, there's a but, we definitely haf to set the credit limit if we go here as i am pretty sure you know how much expensive the labels in there, right? if we didn't stick to the limit, we'll definitely haf to go and wash the dishes in oldtown's kitchen ;p after our lunch.

we were greeted well lately when we're shopping or simply window shopping. i wonder why? there's hardly anymore annoying little eyes staring doubtful-ly at us. very impressive it is! i guess, because we looked more matured now?

as we walked in every store there'll be someone following us. & all i can do is smile back :) and there's one particular store who scored a bonus point as we felt very well appreciated *which lead to my money successfully flew off my hands, the lady greeted us so very well, wif a big HI! + a big smile as we walked down the stairs, we blushed! as we can see all eyes twitch to us ;p + i think because we told her that we'll be back if we're interested, and she remembered us so very well *commission maaaaa. hihih.

so she lined up all the designs that i love, with almost all the colors that they haf, and i was literally having five piece of handbags on me standing in front of the mirror comparing. seriously. go away eagle eyes, i don't care bout youh!~

half of the line up, as we already narrowed it down to the one that i really love :)

adib : ambik je yang mana-mana syg, semua cantik. *rrrrr, not helping at all ;p

look at me being uberly happy :) heee.

the last time i went to OU and the lady was so rajin, she goes all around the store finding what she thinks i might like for me to try on in the fitting room. i don't even haf to go out of there! and i bought every piece that fits in nicely :) i don't know who's happier me or the lady ;p as she can enjoy all the commission and i brought home a whole load of new bajus! heeee.

but, if i were to do it in this store, baik balik jalan kaki la ;p i better choose only one and be superbly sure that i love it, leaving some of the other designs for the next time retail therapy splurge indeed.

pay the amount and off we go wif the door opened for us, how very well treatment you gave us and i so totally felt like a little princess!

plus adib top it off wif a little word of motivation : once syg dah habis belajar, you can do this almost every month! heee, Amin, Insyaallah :)

Comic Crave

2011-04-18T11:12:00.004+08:00

the last time i holistic-ly read a comic was ... hmmp ... lupa dah saya.

but for my other half, comic is like his passion, it's everywhere! in my car, in the bathroom, in my room ;p well, because he gave me a set of his favourite comics for me to keep. how crazy romantic is that? a boy gif u a comic as a sign of his love to you. well, we're different this way :) & i love u back k syg.

so, the other day, he ask me to find something from his bag, guess what is he carrying around so religiously in that bag besides laptop and some random stuff? comic of course :)

but this time, the title of this comic tickles me so hard, i laughed at him to a point sampai adib dah tak bole tahan dah kena tease! soorrry syg ;p see for yourself .......

Insan Ajaib!!

well, in some ways or another, we all want to be that Insan Ajaib, right? and at that time all he could think of is having that ajaib power and put a spell on me, just so that I would stop laughing at him and be vanished from his sight! ;p *some magical love, huh! haha.

shhhhhhh....jgn ckp umi.

2011-04-15T15:37:00.004+08:00

i haf a secret ;p

it's about umi's sikat. yes, sikat rambut tuuu. semalam i used it, and i letak atas bumbung kereta after i use it. then masa busy2 tu, i probably accidentally left it there. sampai sekarang masih lupa samaada i dah ambik sikat tu bawak masuk rumah ke belum. *mungkin die dah selamat jatuh kat atas mana-mana highway tu* ;p

and pagi tadi umi sibuk cari sikat die. and all i did was smile diam-diam and berfikir. dah ambik ke belum? dah ambik ke belum? aaaaaa habislaaaaa.

if i tell her, mesti bising niiiiiii ;p

biar jela, i'll just replace it first! after that baru cerita :O

p.s. can someone create a system or some sort supaya sikat pun bole di-trace mcm hp? heeeeee.

p.s.s. & umi, the whole world dah tau that your sikat dah hilangg ;p

p.s.s.s. via htc. hence, the unjustified.

table for two.

2011-04-12T16:09:00.004+08:00

it was a table for four and there were only the two of us.

i sat in front of him and he sat in front of me.

and guess what?

we felt so far but yet we're sitting at the same table. how weird. after awhile, we decided to scramble and sit next to each other.

now, this feels right. sitting next to each other. owh, well... hmmp.

.......................

p.s. like many other lovers out there, i do hope this kinda intangible moment will linger around like forever! hopefully.

Help!~

2011-04-06T10:02:00.003+08:00

it's funny, when i am screaming out loud in my head for help, "it" actually appears on my desktop! coincidentally, stagnant there just for a second ;p

urgh! can't wait to hand it over back to the PIC when she's back. and i haf to remember to not be toooooo freaking stupidly nice to just say "yes" to everything next time!

it's been awhile :)

2011-03-29T15:06:00.003+08:00

but I'm too scared to be caught chatting while working, hence the byeeee ;p

opss..

2011-03-25T09:22:00.003+08:00

this is the state of my car's petrol when i drove home from work yesterday {berpeluh kecik dalam keta driving sampai ke next station} nasib baik selamat sampai to Petronas, and nasib baik jalan tak berapa nak jamm sgt. if not, i don't know what will happen to me.

actually, i was suppose to pump in the day before but i just simply forgot about it.

p.s. syg, see, kan betul i cakap if minyak kat e pun bole jalannn lagiiii laaaaa ;p {okey, this is gonna be the first and the last la hopefully!}

Opah & Macbook

2011-03-24T10:28:00.003+08:00

i thought of letting opah play around wif the Macbook last night and she was a bit shy at first ;p

i put it on her lap just so she don't haf to come to the little tea table {macam budak kecik yang malas belaja tu, kena bawak dekat die baru nak buat ;p} she just hold on to it and staring at it {waiting for me to tell her what to do next}

i open a new document, and make it 200% wif a caps lock + TNR 72 font size so that she could see what she's typing clearly. then i ask her, opah type la, type recipe nak? then she looked at it, thinking and started looking for the alphabets. & i let her explore.

she was spelling and typing her name. now, look at the full concentration she gave in looking for the last letter of her name on the keyboard.

bersungguh-sungguh tuuww~

it takes so long for her to look for that last alphabet and i offered help, opah cari ape tu? she said, huruf yang berkaki bangku tu~ i look at her document. owhhhhh, it's H.

cari la opah. ade tu.

maneeeeee????

adeeeee tuuuuuuu.

then i dah kesian, so i point to H. she went, owwwwwwhhh. okey, dah siap. she spell it again, and i confirmed, ha betul pun ejaan nama opah.

then, as what normal "kids" would do, okey, dah, dah, dah siap, opah nak tengok tV! ;p

our sushi story!* :)

2011-03-23T10:11:00.003+08:00

we are literally so so in love with sushi, i mean, if we ever stumble upon sushi king masa jalan-jalan, we'll be blush! hehe. and most of the time, we will not singgah sushi for our main meal as god knows how much will it cost if we were to haf it when we're starving. tapi bila fikir-fikir balik, it's actually just a little nasi putih with a little lauk and eaten with kicap je pun, makan kat rumah pun bole! but of course it's not the same feeling la. teehee.

btw, we prefer to haf our sushi cooked only {only once in awhile, adib will try the raw one} and eaten wif a mixture of both kicap manis & kicap masin. nyum!

so the other day, we had sushi king for our little snack time cum tea time cum after brunch meal cum before dinner munch.

syg, loves his sushi with lots and lots of the kicap manis & kicap masin. he finishes almost half of the little bottle! while me, only a little dunk is good enough. :) owh, his favourite sushi is the scallop sushi.

mine is of course the udang sushi. tapi udang sushi ni, kind of a little bit rare on the rail, sikit je kluar, so each time we want it, we haf to order it. same goes wif the scallop's.

after having a rainbow colours of plate on our little table and estimating the cost of our snack time meal which happen to full up our tummy like it's already dinner meal, we decided to stop our hands from picking up another plate off the rail.

but, guess what lalu beside us when we already decided to stop munching? udang sushiiiii. uwaaaaa.

bye udang sushi, till we meet again next snack time meal! kiss kiss!

Hikayat Merong Mahawangsa

2011-03-21T14:58:00.006+08:00

we somehow managed to slot in a movie time to our somewhat hectic weekend schedule last saturday. the thing about this movie is that, i was kinda sceptical at first to watch it. it's like i don't even haf it on my list if we ever find the time to go to the cinema.

but somehow, based on all the positive reviews i read on fb, umi's little story of her point of view of the Hikayat itself and plus adib's relentless demand to watch the movie while we're queuing for a movie ticket {we normally would just go and queue and only then choose a movie, we don't decide of it beforehand}, i somehow decided to just gif it a go. i mean, so what, it's easy, i'll just sleep it off if it's not my cup of tea.

but, guess what? my perception was all totally wrong! i was actually making the right decision picking Hikayat Merong Mahawangsa for our movie time! i did not blink a little at all {literally} just so i don't miss any shot ;p and found myself so anticipated of the movie that i couldn't wait of what's next to come!

i love love love how the portrayal of the heroism, the beauty and sexiness of the princesses, and of course, the scene of ships, arrows, and also the rustic vibe the movie render for the audience.

jpg googled : btw, that old guy name is Kesum. one of my nickname during Degree years was Kesum.

ape lagi, point la for adib to ejek me! huh. ;p

of course, there's few critiques we haf after the movie ended, but what the heck, i don't even bother to write about it! as the movie is good enough to subside all the critiques. all in all, i am truly very proud of KRU. thanks for making something different. seriously.

p.s go get your dose of Hikayat Merong Mahawangsa. it's worth it :)

let me share a story of . . . .

2011-03-08T16:53:00.005+08:00

my first day of class.

a week before : my little sister : eh, aren't you suppose to be in class? *upon seeing me lazing around goyang kaki.

the night before : umi : pergi la tido, esok susah nak bangun pagi, nanti mengantuk pulak dalam kelas etc etc. *upon seeing me watching tv till like the wee hours.

on the morning itself : opah : wakes me up soooo early, i feel like sleeping in the bathroom while taking my shower!

on the morning itself : syg : calls me just to wake me up and arrives at my house soooo early even the birds pun tak bangun lagi.

conclusion : i am actually carrying a really heavy weight kind of hopes and dreams of others besides myself's and i can't see myself not getting it, as it will not only be, frustrating to myself, but also devastating to others. i really-really need all the steel strength there is in the world. Ya Allah, please guide me. Insyaallah.

introducing . . . !

2011-03-04T14:51:00.003+08:00

the king of cat! ;p

that eif thing!

2011-03-04T10:07:00.004+08:00

i am . . . . . . .

dreaming of Paris, aiming for Dr, wishing for . . . . . ? hmmp :)

so, will it finally hits reality? well, hopefully one sweet day, the moment will come. there's time when i really just want to pack up and go, but . . . . {yes, there's but!} i can't.

i'm sure you can guess why right? need not for me to elaborate more on that right? huuu. okeyla, till then, i left you wif the photo i stole from my little sister's Eurotrip album. {well, that's what sisters do right?, steal each others things?} which comes to a point of, where's that bag of mine i left lying around in the room? damn! she stole it! whatever. enjoy the photo. dream of it. bye.

currently i am ...

2011-03-02T00:03:00.004+08:00

current tech love : browsing the net through my htc tp2 on the bed before i sleep and after i wake up.

current career love? : been damn freaking busy with work as some of you might have known from my fb status, i am standby-ing for a staff going for a four month mc + maternity leave.

current education state : registered for two subject this semester and the class is scheduled to be held on saturday, morning somemore! *takpe, usaha tangga kejayaan! :)

current family matters : umi is quite stable and she can now adapt to her new medical routines. Alhamdulillah. Ya Allah, please take care of us. Amin.

current love story : adib is sweet as ever, it's just that sometimes we fight off of the silliest of things, it's ridicolous, it's like when im having my pms, he's contaminated wif one too! annoying okey. but nevertheless, we can still laugh it off when we're done being silly.

current cooking level : level one? okeyla i guess, at least i go to the kitchen and chop the ingredients instead of just cleaning up the dishes!

current gym status : terminated ;p yes, what's the point of having one when i am still carrying all the stubborn little fats? geez, i'll think of a way, h.o.p.e.f.u.l.l.y.

current splurging rave : under control.

current state of mind : somewhat happy but i want more.

current wish & dream : i'll reserve this just for me & adib to know :)

alright now, time to sleep, i'll share more later :)

p.s. yes, this is updated through my htc tp2 on my bed in my blanket, gnite!

a quick little love note.

2011-02-25T17:06:00.003+08:00

i had soya bean for lunch today. suddenly the memories comes back and hit me in the face ;p

on the very first date {which is a double date btw} we had few years back, i had soya bean. the reason im sharing this, is because, it's far from the ordinary compare to now.

coz, you know why, i just had soya bean. just a drink. no food. ;p *haih, love o love :)

back to school!

2011-02-18T15:39:00.006+08:00

So, I’ve done all the necessary for the registration process. class will resume in March and at the same time, I’ll be doing my thesis as well, besides targeting on publishing at least 5 journals? coz the minimum is of course ONE. is it too ambitious? hope not. Insyaallah I can!

& the thing about this next level of my education, is that, everyone asyik tell me that it is hard, take very long time, brain drain - ing etc etc. makes me feel so freaking scared i couldn't describe it wif words okey. & of course I still feel like I am dreaming & can’t believe that I am currently really doing this. the fact that I’ve lost a year just to wait for my proposal approved plus all the cynical laughs and critics i get, *haih, hard to forget that, but Alhamdulillah it only makes me stronger. i am actually thankful that you did what you did people, coz it sure does burns a fire in me to strive harder! and not to forget the positive one, you rock my world people!, thanks!

owh, on a lighter note, can i buy all of my stationary in this Disney princess motifs? :D

syg will surely won't approve sbb too kiddish, but at least one notebook? please? heeeeee. okeyla, whatever it is, i am finally back to school! can't wait to start stressing! hahah! *ade ke orang macam ni? ish ish ish ;p

slap!~

2011-02-11T15:05:00.003+08:00

i am terribly beezy buzzing around town these few days, i think i deserve a big slap of honey mask on my face!

many-many things i wanted to share but when the time comes i found myself curling up under the blanket on the bed wif my pillow.

urgh, i ignored calls, fbs, and msgs, and stuffs, coz all i do is work and sleep and eat and work again. and i somehow realized i need to not be like this when i even ignored syg's msg which goes like this:

"Today i caught myself smiling 4 no reason..then i realized i was thinking about u.."

shit, i deserve an imaginery slap! to wake me up, out of my work mode and get back into my family, social, blog and love life~

work and things!

2011-01-31T16:46:00.006+08:00

work. dnd.it's really hard to achieve this.
but very often we agree to this.
but, it's not that we are doing this kind of job to hate it so much. we need to be grateful too.

often, men'll be so hardworking, we girls think that they somehow abandon us. huh.

but, we, of course, no matter what, haf to accept it as it pays. it pays for things.

& whatever happens & however twisted it can go, we got to find the way to get the balance between things so that at the end of the day, we won't lose a thing!

p.s. googled pics.

Facebook

2011-01-27T15:21:00.001+08:00

so, the rave about Facebook will be "shut down" soon is no more a surprise. betul ke tak betul ke, i don't know. but from the economically perspectives, it's a very good strategy indeed.

ape-ape pun, biar jela diorg decide. what i want to share in here is far from what the approach that they are taking. it's about us. Facebook & us. not me & adib but me and my family and some friends.

the thing about Facebook that makes me keep on logging in is that, it somehow, binds our family and some of my friends back together. and the fact that it is where most of us are {i mean, who doesn't haf FB right?}, we somehow connects to each other, online. {sbb, if nak jumpa everyday, macam tak logik kan, due to the busy-ness issue? hmmp.} and yes, everyone is also tied up wif shits and stuff and things of life..... but..... somehow everyone can seem to find the time to log in to the Facebook, kan? to connect to each other, to talk to someone, to know stuff about other people, besides busy-body-ing on what other people are doing by their status updation ;p kan.

& by replying and commenting and like-ing a statement, a photo, or even a link, everyone seems to be connecting back to each other, indirectly, though in real life we aren’t really talking to each other. that’s kinda like a miracle to me. because it is a proof fact that Facebook somehow makes us "talk" to each other back without us even realizing it.

hmmp, i don't know about the status now, but well, let's just hope that the "shut-ting down" is just some mere economically incline drama, not a real thing. that's just my two cents though, my perspectives, i don't know about yours, really.

eeekkk~

2011-01-27T10:32:00.005+08:00

i am so used to the norm i somewhat feel silly {talking about silly, remember this post?} when it is not the norm. so the other day we were so busy {overrated terms we all use! right?}, i ran out of Touch & Go credits and had to use the cash for payments, and this is what happened as i reached the LDP toll :

Me : hmmppppp, {long pauseeee} berapa? {berapa?, omg, i had to. i don't know how much!}

The Lady : looking at me in awe.

Me : smiles sheepishly.

The Lady : RM 1.60

Me : owh.

The Lady : still in awe!

now, that's what happen when all i do is swipe the card without even looking at the amount deducted. and all the drama about, toll fees dah naik, never landed on my thoughts as important. haish. must be more alert next time. ignorance is not always a blissful idea. eekk!

the happy letter.

2011-01-25T10:35:00.005+08:00

of late, i have been so busy my face feels itchy. it shows when one of my colleague notice the dry and unpolished skin of mine. i really need to find time to do some quick facial fix and get some natural glow back to my skin. my hair needs some untangling treats too.

okay la, on a little serious note, few days ago, I received yet another happy letter. it was indeed seriously a happy letter! I smiled all the way. in fact i was so happy I feel like fainting reading it. I read it so many times coz it feels untrue.

Alhamdulillah, it is true. all I wanted to do is get myself a Gucci + LV + a Trip, all in one go asap! but, knowing me knowing my little self inside me, though I can afford to, even without this happy letter, I won’t.

pleasing and spreading it around is more like what I’d do, and I’ll definitely have most of it un-liquid, stagnant and grows little by little. Insyaallah.

apart from that owh so happy news i'm getting, umi’s being warded again and just discharged last night.

so again, how am I suppose to spread this little happy news of mine when all I am surrounded by is misery? some God’s plan all of us haf to adhere. hmmp.

let me share a story . . . .

2011-01-19T11:41:00.004+08:00

a story that makes me stay away from my Apple and make me curb myself from writing a story in here. coz i am afraid all you'd hear is the story of melancholicity. we're having a little hiccups in our life that sometimes I think it won’t stop with just plain water. It needs more than a boost of liquid to heal.

and in fact I still feel I am in 2010 despite having a lot of things happening in between, for one, I don’t even haf a 2011 diary to kick the year off. Thinking and writing 2011’s resolutions is also out of sight, but, this one, I’ll know it is slowly coming in good. Alhamdulillah.

Cumanya, Allah S.W.T haf His Own plan for me. he twist it a little by giving me so much of an obstacle I feel like breaking down, but I can’t. I can’t afford to break down. I am taking this test of Yours patiently, Insyaallah, and my tears, it runs so much, I build an imaginary pool out of it.

He tested me so hard. so hard it involves my mom’s health condition; after which I am only eighty percent healed from my dad’s absent. it's not cool :( i can't bear to handle all this. it's so heartbreakingly sad, But at the same time He is giving me the good news I’ve been longing. So how am I supposed to react and feel? so twisted. I feel so in between.

a little pat on the shoulder. . .

2011-01-17T12:29:00.005+08:00

when running is the best mode of walking, when a meal concludes the whole three major meals, when multitasking is the only way to settle things and when me time is strip away slowly. this is when my life haf come to a point of no turning back and thus looking forward is the only best solution i could ever be satisfied with.

& starting from February onwards i'll be adding up the cramp life drama and sign up on a new commitment. and you’ll definitely be reading my whines, my stories of burning the midnight oils, my twisting brain drain, my sore eyes due to reading thousands of words and etc etc. { i'm sure you can guess what already right? :) } am i happy? i am over the moon, you haf no idea. but can i really cope with it? i am not really sure yet, well, hopefully i can.

i can’t wait for it to start and finish though, but, of course, at the same time, I am so scared! It’s like I am nearing the finishing line but, to get to the finish line is not as easy as it may seem. though, I somehow can say I haf all the motivations and supports needed but deep down inside of me, i am so nervous, i wish i am transparent so that everyone can really see it.

well, hopefully i can really do it, as i've been waiting for ages just to get my proposal done & approved and being told “your offer letter is ready!”. giving up nor quitting now is definitely not a good move.

the telepathy in us . . .

2011-01-13T10:33:00.002+08:00

telepathy, wujud ke?

telepathy, instinct, or is it just a mere coincident? Or is it love? ;p

I am not really sure. But one thing for sure, it did happened.

Btw, I am talking about us, being picking out the same hue color of cloth, thinking of the same thing at the same time, calling each other at the same time, and sometimes he already know what I want to eat haha {tapi ni, sbb I ni picky eater, so I tend to eat the same thing only!}

I mean, for cloth, I am not there with him at his house to be picking out cloth for him and me to wear, nor we haf set a time for us to be talking on the phone! But how does it coincidently happen?

People always says, same mind think alike, but, we are not the same, nor identical, we’re just some mere lovebirds who happens to love each other dearly and sometimes I think we manage to think alike. It’s weird, I pun rasa macam tu.

Tapi, if we gaduh, jangan harap nak pakai baju color same, or come to a same conclusion or opinion, tengok muka pun tanak!

And after 7 years of knowing each other, and on the last 6th Anniversary being a boyfriend and a girlfriend before now officially become Engaged, guess what we bought each other as an Anniversary gift? It’s really a SURPRISE, I tell you. Tak percaya langsung!~

Okeyla, I’ll continue in the next post, sekarang sambung kerja dulu.

a bloody affair.

2011-01-12T17:14:00.002+08:00

I am close to crying each time I send her in. It’s not that I am a cry baby or what, but simply because I am overwhelmed, so overwhelmed by the situation and place that I sometimes can’t really hold back the tears.

I do wonder, why do all these happen to me, to my family? But being a human being, we can never answer a life question. It’s in the hands of God.

Most of the time, I’d pinch myself or chocked my breath just so the tears won’t spill. I succeeded few times, tapi selalunya I fail. But of course, if it did happen, it is not seen by her {i'll try my very best not to let her see it} & sometimes, i just let it happen in my heart and all everyone else can see is my smile. Is it a fake smile? No, but, it is definitely just a smile. I don’t know how I did that.

i guess, apart from tears God gave us smiles, and I think I should just go through it, strongly, no matter what. I can never let myself crumble, or else, it’d be worse.

it’s really hard to express it in simple basic words though, but all I can say is, I am darn sad.

Pumpkin.

2011-01-11T15:01:00.006+08:00

*Auto Publish Post*

Why am I writing about pumpkin, u asks?

Hmmp. I love pumpkin, I mean, who doesn’t right? It’s sweet, soft and melt in your mouth taste makes you ask for more!

I always requested umi to make me pumpkin dish. Thinking that it is simple and easy to make. After all, it’s just pumpkin.

Besides being a hearty meal, people always use pumpkin to describe sweetness. For example, my pumpkin pie, pumpkin patch, my pumpkins!, owh my little pumpkin, and all things pumpkin la.

In Malay, pumpkin can also be a teaser, like, iyelah labuuuuuu.

So, the other day, we wanted to serve pumpkin dish, for our guest, it was my idea of course, cause I thought, it’s sweet, nice and nyummy & suppose to be simple and easy!

My task was to peel the pumpkin. I said to myself, senang je, nantila peel. After I am done with peeling shrimps, potong bawang, slicing the meat, blending the chili, and etc. etc. {dalam hati I, peel pumpkin macam peel potato je kot}

So, by the time I am ready with the other task in hand, it’s time for me to peel the star of the day, the Pumpkin. took a knife, sat on the chair at the table, with a round riped orangey coloured pumpkin, I’m all ready and set. Once the knife reached the pumpkin skin, my heart SANK literally. It is so DAMN FREAKIN’ HARD TO PEEL A PUMPKIN, I tell you! Cuba you pergi cari pumpkin and pergi cuba peel it, SUMPAH SUSAH!

It’s far from like peeling a potato. a potato is so easy to peel, siap ade the potato peeler lagi. I haven’t found any pumpkin peeler anywhere, wujud ke ha? Ntahlaaa.

After the first three peels, I was already complaining hard, and opah had to do something about it, coz I guess she knows that my mouth won’t shut until she do something to the pumpkin. So, she cut it into three piece, and told me to only do two of it. *siap bagi motivation* ;p Barula I rasa semangat, tak payah habiskan satu labu haha.

While peeling, my nails almost break and my fingers jadi so rough and muddy. Urgh. I took almost an hour just to peel the 2 per three pumpkin. Haih, memalukan okey! Lepas habis, I ask opah to cut it into pieces, I don’t want to handle it anymore~

Now that I know how hard it is to make a pumpkin dish, I will value it more later. And if I ever stumble upon any pumpkin dish at someone’s house, I’ll ask who peel the pumpkin? cause she surely deserve a pat on the shoulder! ;p

p.s. no wonder pumpkin is so yummy. sbb susah sgt nak dapatkan isi dia. hehe.

it's all about the Ring!

2011-01-11T10:32:00.004+08:00

11.1.11

It’s been 10 days.

Do I feel different? Yes, a bit. But not that much. It’s just that now I’ve got two rings from him and I am now officially half single. Hik hik.

And I am so loving my two rings! Like so much. The Merisik Ring is a Gold "Belah Rotan" Ring which is very classic looking of which I kinda like loving it so very much. Timeless is more likely the best way to describe it.

And the Engagement Ring. It’s a 0.*2 Carat Diamond hugged by a six claws ring which binds it flawlessly into a very elegant and simple looking ring! Perfect from my eyes, that is. And definitely fits me. I am a girl who always wanted a Diamond Ring. But buying it myself would not be special until I got someone special buying it for me first. That’s like the hidden reason why I haven’t been buying myself one. Besides, diamond is best received as a gift than buying one ourself! haha. And now that I’ve got it. I’m loving it so much you have no idea how much is that much.

While we were ring-hunting, of course I got carried away with many different patterns and styles and shapes that are available in the market. But, him knowing me toooo well, always pulls me back into the basics and makes me stick to my mind and remind me that we wanted a simple and classic timeless piece, the Solitaire Type. Scorching for a solitaire, we wanted something perfect for he’s own budget {though, it somehow ter-over from what he budgeted, heee} and of course it must be one of a kind. So, we decided to custom made the design based on our preferences. We choose a Round Brilliant Cut Diamond and pick an Evergreen Claw. And it comes with a Certificate and Code to verify that it is one of a kind & genuine :) how awesome!

My smiles widen. He was the one who insisted on buying that, because he knows how fussy I am! And now, I can’t take my eyes off of it. Geez, thanks syg. Syukur, Alhamdulillah.

sneaky..

2011-01-08T20:01:00.002+08:00

well, i am itching to write a longgg entry for our engagement day, but the time runs so fast i couldn't catch up!~ will do, soonnn :)

1.1.11 - My Engagement Day :)

2011-01-01T20:21:00.002+08:00

in progress. Insyaallah.

2010-12-28T10:00:00.002+08:00

*Auto Publish Post*

lalalalala....a little black & white update for it to remain a surprise :) so stay tune people! much love to my readers!~

btw, there's still so much more little-little things to be tick off from the imaginary to do list, & I'm so totally keeping myself calm. well, hopefully everything, i mean e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g, will be ready on time. Insyaallah. that's what matters the most.

other than that, whatever comes, comes :)

a little blonde moment?

2010-12-23T11:45:00.005+08:00

yesterday i had a blonde moment. {hope it won't terjadi again, pleasee!}

a blonde moment so silly i feel like smacking my face hard. but i don't of course, just a little embarrass that is. and the customer service counter personnel offer a little than mini help, almost to no help at all. so very disappointed i am. coz i went and ask for like few times. obviously i need help right?

usually syg yang buatkan. but because, we're too busy, we had to delegate. well, besides, i can't always rely on him only, kan. i have to be a bit independence too.

as i was trying for like the thousand times, i was already developing a little embarrassing sweat on my forehead. i never did it myself! or maybe i just forgot how to. damn. decided to ask the counter again and they're apparently too "busy" to jump off their seat.

last sekali, i pun terpaksalah jump a queue backwards few times just to intai how the other person operate the machine. i felt like an idiot, nasib baik, i ternampak and finally i managed to do it. thank god for a sharp sneaky eyes! i had to. i didn't mean to meddle.

guess what the machine was?

a CIMB cash deposit machine!

i know, right, senang je kan? hahaha, malunya saya! no wonder the customer service counter personnel would not want to even moved her butt off her chair. sbb senang je nak operate the machine! *adoi, tepuk kepala!*

scrabble babble ...

2010-12-17T14:34:00.004+08:00

this month's weeks feels darn fast for me. it comes and go so fast i sometimes think did i manage to breath while i was at it or not?

the list of to do things is expanding day by day in my head. i don't bother to write it down on paper nor on my phone anymore, coz it's just too much. i tend to just forget it and if it comes back to my mind, means it's important. if it's not, just let it be. i can say i'm a little bit of a perfectionist type, which i think only brings a lot of trouble to me. hence now, i am slowly changing to a less perfect person by just attending to things if it really needs me to attend to. if not, just let the wind blow it away ... slowly ..

i once read on someone's facebook's philosophy, it goes something like this {which i tweak a little to suit my understanding} ... being happy is when you see the imperfection as perfect ... hence, life is not always perfect. i haf to accept that. and life does not always confer to your way of living your life. life has it's own way and path to lead too.

so back to my super tight week and weekend schedule which i guess will goes on until like when we're done with the little event? there's still a lot of shopping to do and a lot more of preparation to make.

will it be perfect?

well, let's just let it be perfect in it's own kind of perfect ... hmmp ...

on juggling things.

2010-12-16T13:27:00.006+08:00

umi was iterating the groceries list and my colleague was requesting for something at the same time just now. nodding to my colleague and yes-ing to umi at the same freaking time. haish. i'm having a really bad neck pain now. i need a simple massage and a salon fix asap.

juggling things is not easy. but a girl got to do what a girl got to do right?

on study matters, i do wonder, why is it so hard to get what i applied for. i've planned for it to happen, and the execution is in process, but i don't know why must it be this hard. i've no one to turn to, or seek advice from. sbb yang i kenal, dapat buat straight {they are pure genius i tell you} or they did the medical line {genius to the next level} i feel so lost. so dump. i can't even get my proposal approved. damn, close to giving up i am. {but hopefully i won't, please give me strength Ya Allah}

sometimes i wish, umi and abah had encouraged me to take up Bio in school, just so i can get to the final destination without much route. it's not easy i know, but at least it's a one way route. not like what i am currently experiencing right now, very painful to even swallow!

it's not like i'm gonna take up the world, i'm just doing my research. give me some space. please.

on Indian Cuisine.

2010-12-15T15:06:00.006+08:00

i am usually a picky eater so, for me wanting to try out things and especially bizarre food like kambing is totally impossible.

for lunch today, we {me & my colleague} had an indian cuisine at an indian restaurant. indian food mestila ade kambing dish kan. tapi takpe, i'll just pass if i do stumble upon it. no worries.

but not today, i've created a history in my life. i did try a kambing dish! and in this case i know i was taking and eating the kambing. sbb kalau tatau tu, the feeling lain. igt macam daging biasa je kan.

it started when i was browsing through the rows of lauk, i saw this one dish and i felt like tasting it. mcm ade like tarikan for me to go and try it & i decided to ask the waiter what the dish was and he said "owh, itu kambing"

dalam hati, alamak, why la kambing, cakapla daging biasa! nak amik ke tanak amik ni, takut la. ;p kambing tuuu. sbb i dgr, if makan kambing, nanti badan rasa heaty . . . panas & ade bau kambing. tapi lauk tu nampak sedap! hmmp. what the heck, i took it and told myself to experience the mitos myself. betul ke org cakap ni, ke urband legend je.

so, i took, chicken kurma, deep fried squid and kambing curry! that's bizarre enough for meeee. heee. and kalau makan nasi served on a daun pisang, mestila use our very own hand to eat kan? baru real~ dgn ade papadom and some fish curry on the rice. quite a nice experience i had :)

one bite of the kambing and i was like flying, hmmp, nice, sedap. so tender. so juicy. now i truly know what the rave is all about when it comes to kambing dish. it's so sedap! rugi tak suka dari awal. haha.

but,

as i am writing this, i donnow whether it's my psychology or what, but i feel warm and my hands smell kambing! ;p *as if la i pernah pergi cium kambing tuu, to know how they smell kan. urgh, psycho psycho. takpe yang penting it was nice & i am breaking my own food record! :D

p.s. nak try again next time? hmmp. tgk rupa dish tu mcm mane, menarik or tak menarik hehe.

pink label please, petronas ;p

2010-12-14T14:37:00.006+08:00

yes, i admit, i am that type of girl who own's a car but only knows how to drive it. sampai destination cukup & i basically only take care of the inner kebersihan only. like making sure my empty vitagen casing, crumpled used tissue, and chocolate's wrap is thrown away, in the dustbin, of course. and kibas-kibas tempat lapik kaki tu so that no habuk please. hee. that's about it.

the one who take care about most of my car's maintenance and service and petrol and wash and etc etc issue is syg. so, lately, he's been busy. way too busy to even pump in the petrol for me. you know i hate pumping in my own petrollll, syg. :(

so, yesterday i had to do it. sbb dah kritikal takde minyak. though at first i forgot all about it. tgk-tgk dah almost e. oops. sampai je kat station, i don't haf enough cash, and i am not sure whether the debit card can be use at any petrol station or not. i had to withdraw some cash and now all i wanted to do is pay the amount, pump and go. the basic, pump 4, 50. and usually, i mean most of the time, the cashier {which btw in this case is a girl} will just say okey.

but not yesterday. the girl decided to do more than the basic. she ask the type and the colour of the pump. "hijau, kuning, hitam?" i went like "huh??!~" with are you sure you're asking me that kind of question kinda face. i mean, how should i know? i tak hafal ;p "yang biasa la", was the best answer i could possibly think of to answer to the girl and she replied owh, okey okey..though in my mind i am answering "pink!" ;p ade? haha. sampai je dekat pump 4, ade hitam and kuning. i pump in the kuning one sbb i somehow knew that hitam is not biasa.

and i did a little research. supaya saya tidak nampak macam orang bodoh lagi lain kali, dgn bertanya kepada, siapa lagi kalau bukan syg! haha. hitam = diesel {alamak, lupa tanya syg, diesel untuk ape, yang i know, diesel untuk lori la, kereta biasa tak bole} & bagi kereta biasa ade hijau and kuning, hijau 97 & kuning 95. hijau mahal sikit berbanding kuning. {betul tak syg?} okey, itu je. i think this should be sufficient enough, for now. heee.

p.s. owh i haf a suggestion, i think they should introduce a pink label pump la, pink = biasa. so that it's easier to remember, especially by a girl like me~ i mean it, seriously! ;p

it's a love hate thing.

2010-12-10T16:32:00.003+08:00

the thing about being a daughter, granddaughter, sister and a girlfriend is that, i am bound to make the relationship a good one. a happy one. and sometimes i tend to make their happiness go straight on top of the priority chart, without even realizing of my own happiness level slipping down. but, this sentence when you are happy, i am happy always become like a mantra for me to stay grounded.

most of the time, the relationship also comes to a point of a love hate situation that somehow manage to light it's own fire in the most discreet manner as it can possibly fired. so, what should i do to stay calm and collected all the time so that i can somehow manage to get through all the hassle that twirl in the way of my way to happiness?

i don't know. it's a love hate thing. i just haf to figure out how as and when it arises, which comes to a point of why life is called life.

huh?

2010-12-07T00:10:00.005+08:00

i've been stressed out with things and self issue lately and the fact that life is not as simple as it may be as before is definitely making me feel really sad.

but,

one thing i would love to highlight in this little post is that, there are still strangers talking and giving compliments to strangers in this so called busy i don't care or bother about others community we are breathing in now. and somehow it gif a little light of happiness to the one receiving, of course! though a little bit weird to my perspectives.

First Incident
i was from the office and i knew i had to re-stock the daily dose of Gardenia. after a hard day at work all i wanted to do is to go back straight home. i mean, don't we all? but no, i had to re-stock, remember? so i parked at a Petronas near my house and grab two bags of Gardenia and while making the payment i felt a bit uncomfortable as i had to bare the drizzling rain before. the girl at the counter strike a little conversation and i tried my very best not to be sombong and replied. after a little perk me up chitchat, to my awe she said i am cute. "i am cute?" really? {that was in my head of course!} well, to be honest i don't expect to get that kind of compliment on a rainy day and a tired sloppy looking me. it's embarrassing people! ape-ape pun, it definitely lit up my day a little. all i could do that time was flash a little surprised smile of mine and make sure not to let the awkwardness surface. awkward aight? anyhow, you definitely made my day dear 15 yr old part time cashier - girl!

Second Incident
medical check up and blood test is definitely torturing for me, and as me and umi was waiting for our turn to see the doctor, after being jabbed at the lucky green veins for some bloody experiment at the lab, i was trying to let loose a little bit by air brushing my hair in the air when suddenly i felt a little snap! i turned and i see a lady behind us, amazed, she smiled at me as i turned in a little marah mode. somehow i know that she touched my hair. i felt a little uneasy of course, but to my surprise, she said, you haf a nice hair!, and my sudden surprise feedback was definitely a humble thank you, despite being a little shocked and a little mad that someone would literally grabbed my hair! {happy, tapi menakutkan laaaaa, i mean, don't touch-touch la okay, scaryyy}

so, there my happy but weird experience i had in leading my super busy and stressed out life. life is weird. kan? whatever la. all i can say is, i am still in aww mode. {the surprise one, not the romantic aww one}

p.s. so spread the love, spread the joy, smile to strangers, tell people that they are beautiful, i mean honestly not a fake one of course, coz one fine day someone might just do the same to you, and it is especially felt when you are feeling so f*ck*ng down. a little compliment goes a long way you know? though it felt a little weird when receiving it butttt, it's okay......well, at least, it did, to me. thanks strangers.

Giant & us.

2010-12-02T16:41:00.012+08:00

did i tell you yet, how much we love going to Giant?

i felt giddy saying it, but, seriously it's kinda fun going into some stipulated alley reserved for all the common stuffs, finding for things, and at the same time discovering some new things. basically you can find most of the essentials you need and could think of to use in your daily life at Giant. at least that is what i think. hmmp.

like this waffle biscuit i found at the biscuits' aisle, fell in love wif it straightaway!~

and of course adib has his own favourite aisle! i'm sure some of you can guess right? heee. his favourite aisle is the chocolate aisle. if i ever lose sight of him, i know he's got to be at the chocolate aisle. heh.

as for me, i don’t haf any favourite one though, coz i love almost all of the aisle! ;)

well, i'm pretty lucky that adib is willing to help me out wif the groceries shopping, as sometimes i can't reach the stuff place very high on the shelf or simply can't be carrying a 10 kgs of beras myself, wif my only two hands.

usually we'll take turns in pushing the cart. as i think it's not fair for me to just let him push it alone. but most of the time, he somehow knows that he should be the one pushing it!~ hehe.

this is how our cart would usually look like, so, wajibla adib yang tolak kan? ;p

so the other day, after finishing the groceries and essentials shopping we were sooo tired and famished and all kelam kabut sbb tak sabar nak sampai rumah to rest.

and kebetulan, i had to push the cart as he was busy answering his phone {a call from a girl okey?} as we're nearing the car, the phone conversation becomes a bit deeper i guess and he seems to kinda forgot that i was behind him pushing the full load of cart.

takpe lagi, i just let him be {in my mind, he got something important to discuss kot, bia je la} but when he start the engine and close the door, i decided not to just let him be. i wave slowly in his face, not to disturb the deep phone conversation, and he finally realized. phew~

one thing for sure, i do not want to take the risk by just letting him start the engine and close the door and wait to see if he do remember me or not. what if i was left all alone at the parking lot, and he only realized that i was wif him when the conversation ends and he's already like reached home? no, no, not a good move.

so after he realized it, i am already merajuk and we stuffed the car boot and drove home. only then, i asked him, "u terlupa ke i was wif u? yang kita baru habis beli barang?"

he only answer "ingat, kalut jawab phone tadi, ade benda serious. bla bla," he try very hard to convince me. well, after a while i am convinced that the conversation was about something serious. he berjaya pujuk i.

and we laughed out loud remembering that i could be stranded all alone at the Giant parking lot wif a fully loaded cart! *^&%$ and all he could guarantee to me is that die tak lupa, die ingat. but deep down inside me, until now, i doubt it!` boo!

p.s. belum apa-apa dah lupa dah girlfriend die sorang ni, huh! ;p takpe, masih bole dimaafkan. sbb ade alasan yang bole dikategorikan agak kukuh laa. hopefully takkan berulang je!~ rrr.

rainbow treats for the little ones~

2010-12-02T14:32:00.007+08:00

It’s December, the colorful rainbow month... strolling in the mall and all you notice first is the variety of lovely rainbow colored coated candy canes, shaped lollypops, little sweets and scrumptious chocolates to drool over.

sudden urge of making someone’s day, suddenly blossoms, & here’s some rainbow treats for few of my colleague little ones at home~ hope I brightened up their day! :)

bluek!~

2010-12-01T16:40:00.003+08:00

work has taken it's toll on me last night. i was so sick i threw up like three times. it's insane. i threw up as i got home, i threw up while i was eating the pills {yes, at the table, on my baju, dah mcm baby burping and termuntah tu, worst, it's not a baby, it's me, an adult!} and the third time, i threw up the biscuit & milo i had in order to eat the pills {kan nak makan ubat kena makan something dulu kan} great. i haf like zero things in my tummy.

the point is, i was so sick because i've been juggling all the thoughts in my head and i feel like i could not even survive another day in this world. i felt so burden up wif shits.

my head spins so ridiculously i feel like i am spin walking. decided to sleep it off. early. like at ten i was sleeping already. luckily this morning i felt so much better and can come to work. if not, i do not know how to answer to the boss, as my leave is frozen for like these two weeks. end of the year buzz issue. well. whatever shit it is, it's okey i guess, just haf to suck it up, & at least i know i am needed in the company, despite all the little-i-cant-take-it-anymore-vomit-drama!. i haf to endure. urgh.

bling bling? ;p

2010-11-30T11:29:00.004+08:00

i brought this to the office and put it on my table. one of my colleague pass by my table and jokingly ask...

buah ape ni?

bling bling?

i was like, huh?

belimbingggg.

starfruit. ;p not bling bling!~ haha.

he who holds...

2010-11-29T16:29:00.005+08:00

he holds my hand...

during these tough times :

1) during my Degree years coz he believe i can do it. i did. Alhamdulillah.

2) during my Master years coz he knows i can finish it. i did, with flying colors somemore. Alhamdulillah.

3) during my PhD application process coz he believe i can get through. Insyaallah. *still waiting.

and yesterday,

during jogging, coz he believe i can get back into my ideal shape i had not so long ago.

now, who am i to say i don't believe in myself? i believe i can. hopefully. urgh.

opah says...

2010-11-29T14:51:00.004+08:00

this is how opah interprets some of the items that we sometimes think is too normal and do not care of but of course not to her...

the htc

i keep on looking at my phone and keep on playing wif it, she said "asyik petik-petik benda tuuu je, ade ape kat dalam tu?" then only i realized, i did, a lot, and tak perasan pun, dah macam biasa, buka je mata tekan tu dulu ;p

the toaster

"opah tatau nak tekan-tekan tu, baik bakar atas kuali je" for me it's more simple to toast in the toaster than doing it in the kualiiii.

the aircond

"opah tanak la tido dalam bilik tu, rasa ais, macam tido dalam peti aisss, sejukkk".

the fan

"ni baru angin asliii".

hik hik.

sudden crave.

2010-11-26T01:23:00.002+08:00

suddenly i feel like having a rotiboy :( where the hell do i get it at 1.23 am?

my cinderella story...

2010-11-23T20:40:00.014+08:00

and the story begins....

there, as some of my lovely little rainbow readers have known, i haf enter the first chapter for the next chapter of my life and i am totally still in aww. and as i am writing this, i am constantly reminding myself that i already have a "merisik ring" wif me :)

and it was actually like a cinderella story. my cinderella story.

the day come swiftly wif only a little hush of time. one minute i was busy working and cleaning up the house, and the next minute i was asked for my hand for the ring.

we {my family & i} literally haf only two days to welcome his family to our house. neither one of us {me & him} haf any idea where to get started and what to expect on the day itself. it was madness but of course in a good way. and turning my shopaholic mode on, i manage to scuff around town wif him to get all the stuff we need from groceries to attire to e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g! we were out of breath painting the town red but of course the happiness outshined it all.

and i am one lucky girl to haf each and every one of my family members knowing everyone's own roles and responsibilities to contribute for the preparation of the day, hence the little time constraint is not really cumbersome to us.

by 12 noon on 21.11.2010 i was already getting ready for his family arrivals. i was anxiously nervous but i manage to stay calm and collected. and as i heard "Assalamualaikum" my heart beat so fast i couldn't even breath properly. heee.

i was in my room waiting patiently. i knew the time would come, but it was so long i literally was counting sheeps, dancing ducks and growing thousands of butterflies in my tummy. i definitely was in my own dreamland. and as i walk down the stairs, all i could remember was, i am walking on clouds. i felt as if i was flying. my mind flew to paris. my smile blooms like a red rose. owh, how i wish i could describe it more. but the feeling, will definitely only be known if you experience it yourself :) and of course when the ring fits, i totally feel like a little princess with a ring that hugs her finger perfectly.

the day went on smoothly and as simple and memorable as it can possibly be, for us to remember upon. hopefully the next chapter will be better.

by the time the clock ticks 12 midnight, i am already in my night pjs turning the lights off, thinking bout the next monday morning meeting. back to work, back to reality.

and hopefully my fairytale story will come to ".........happily ever after" :) Insyaallah.

lucky meow!

2010-11-23T09:49:00.004+08:00

our conversation on the phone as i reach the groceries store last night,

"syg, ape nama brand makanan meow yg u selalu beli tu?" me

"frieskies, yang warna kuning tu, beli yang seafood, ade udang, ketam, ikan, campur-campur, kucing tak muak makan. kalau ikan je die muak-muak sikit" him

"owh, yang seafood, ha okey bye" me

"okey, bye" him

it's about our fully pampered cat. ;p it's not really ours but then the cat literally wait for me as i come home from work, so it's kind of our house's cat la. i never thought that the cat would dominate our life and take part in most of our conversation. dah mcm cat love dah, not human love ;p

there's one we found, never eat anything other than frieskies. opah yang bela die, so guess what opah did? she would bring him back and forth from kampung - kl, kl - kampung. so lucky. i haf a name for him, it's meow abang. sbb meow adik kurang manja, can eat anything, so die kena tinggal kat kampung. keshian diee. heeee love u la meow abang!~ ;) couple of nights ago, opah told me, he curled up somewhere at my feet, and slept wif me. no wonder i felt very ticklish at my feet that night. some cat love story that only cat lover would understand....hehe.

21.11.2010

2010-11-21T20:57:00.006+08:00

i am too happy, i am out of words. it'll be a draft in my head as of now. i am totally overwhelmed with joy. will surely publish the detail soon. Insyaallah, as of now, Alhamdulillah and many thanks to everyone! :)

just a little hush...

2010-11-18T13:46:00.005+08:00

opah came on Aidiladha. as usual, she will literally bring her whole house here. i mean, she can never travel light. she even brought her kuali~ it's not that, we don't have any, it's her nature of bringing her own e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g and feel happy about it. well, now, u can never laugh at me if i do not know how to travel light syg, it's in the blood! ;p

but, this Aidiladha she came wif something extra. unseen, unheard, she came wif a plan. a plan that is so sudden she just blurt it out during dinner. i am happy and all, but a little nervous too of course. but it definitely is part and parcel of me realizing that i am all grown up. so stop behaving like a little merajuk-queen!, kasuma. :)

litle by little, i am learning.

2010-11-15T16:12:00.004+08:00

dad, do u know that i have come to the age of realizing and understanding the meaning of life? well, little by little, i am learning, still & always. {but, you should be proud of me dad, & i am sorry for always merajuk-ing everytime you forbid me from doing something}

like for example these :

1) for not letting me work in a McD or anywhere while i was waiting for my SPM result {all you do is tell me to study hard and i was so lazy!}

2) for not letting me drive. and bila abah takde umi told us {me & little sis} that you love us so much & you were so scared of losing us, if anything bad were to happen if we drive ourself everywhere {darah muda, temper, nak drive laju-laju je, so die takutla}

back then, all i do is rebel and merajuk and marah you je sbb tak bagi i kerja & drive. i am so sorry.

now that i am already working i understand why you forbid me from working in my young age and told me to wait for the right time & why you don't let me drive when i was a teenager and you drive me wherever i wanted to go. i truly do.

apparently it's too late to let you know how i feel *tears :'(

p.s. little birds please do let him know. thanks.