life's little tricks.

this little castle you left us is rather quiet and no more laughter from us unless if there is something to laugh about. there is no more spontaneous laugh and we barely talk. we just talk or simply blurb a word or two to each other. basically we just mind our own business. no more babytalk that we can talk about. no more little-little things to chat about. it's just getting dimmer and dimmer in our little life. i miss you so much abah. i miss the laugh you used to inject in our day. i miss you so much abah. :(

i wish time would go back where you're still here and we're still a big happy and cheerful family, where i feel secure and haf no worries about all the little-little things that life offered me now like how to survive tomorrow and having to solve all the challenges entails it, where life is as simple as it can be, where i don't bother to take things seriously and handle my own silly problems, where i am your little girl and things just look as simple as a light white feather handled by you.

i wish our family can be as happy as before and things will change back to its normal little road before. but i guess, it is just a hope that will never hit the target point as it is truly unrealistic to get you in our little castle back. i miss it when you open my door and just smile at me when you come home late at night from work. i hate myself now knowing that i was being so rebellious in my teenage days that i think i did hurt you wif a thing or two wif my stupid act. i am sorry. i am truly sorry.

i wish that our family can be re-united again and everyone does find the happiness that we longed for. one thing for sure, your wish of getting a perfect family picture will never ever happen. and now without you, it surely will not happen even if i manage to gather everyone up under one roof. :(