i am still up and sitting in front of this MacBook of mine plus the teevee turned on & bursting with shits. i need to finish up the proposal badly but i am darn lazy to do so. maybe because i am scared? i am scared to face the outcomes. i am scared of failurism {is there such word?} i am just too scared.
maybe because i really want it and when i didn't get it, i feel very damn peeved of myself. i multitask in between my work and manage to slot in few nice and logical new ideas, to match the requirements. but, i don't know. i am still scared to send it in, just yet.
oh, btw, the boyfriend and the little sister, each, got themselves a great news. i am happy for them. congrats to both of em'. lately it's always been about others' good news. congrats' everyone. congrats people. congrats world!. where's mine gone? buried in the sandy beach or out in the INDIANA ocean? i haf no idea.
the boyfriend
the little sister
it feels shitty and i feel like puking now.
and not to mention, i mean start mentioning on engagements', weddings', pregnancies', babies', and kids' epilogue. i am indeed darn stress. deep one. like seriously.
p.s. i better go offline, before i blurt out more shitty words.
p.s.s. please rainbow, give me some colors of love.
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