you know why the label of anything regarding my career is stated as Career Love? it's because when the day i started to write about it, i am not sure whether i am going to love it or not. and apparently, today mark the day that i don't.
not that i hate it, it's just that, i still haf an unfinished life's priority. i haf to complete my study.
being in this corporate world, well, it sure does teaches me a lot. this brutal world, if i may call it, i am indeed not ready and not yet fully equipped to be completely infuse into it and hence the defuse. & little by little the wonderful fantasy about being content of being a leader in a high rise tall building, about being a lady wif the nose stuck up in the air walking, slowly subside as, you know why? well, you figure it out, in your own perspectives. because, if i am to write it in here it'll be full of political, sarcasm, relationship and sensitivity area, which is not good.
to say that i will miss all the drama and the pressure i experienced here, yes, i will, but at the same time, it is something that i don't wish to be into again. the lesson learned, the heart bruised, the ego crush, the spirit squash will only makes me tougher and to be ahead of things, to think fast, and resolve issue not just meddle wif it, & definitely makes me more open to the real life issue. i'm not as naive as before.
yes, i am somewhat satisfied wif the money and i am a bit drawn towards the really nice treats i received from the people here but i cannot be stingy. i really can't cope working & studying at the same time.
and, i am quite lucky in a sense that my parents supports me, and they haf also implant in my mind, that the most important thing in life is actually EDUCATION not work. and, jump-ing of the career wagon without much hesitant basically lies in this particular line that arwah abah always said to me :
"belajar kuat - kuat."
he NEVER said to me to "kerja kuat - kuat." in fact, when he's alive, i NEVER work {i'll share that part of a little story in a different post if i may} so, by holding to that particular phrase, i make my decision. i decide.
umi supports my decision the moment i blurt it out. in fact, she's the one who urge me to leave a.s.a.p. in order for me to concentrate on my study. my little sister, ask when is my last day at work, the other day she called. adib promise to support me. & opah, still don't know, actually haha. we're {me & umi} scared to tell her ;p
and by now, yes i will miss the people, the environment, the friends, the money, the food, the fast pace life, the back to back meetings, the running in heels, the pressure, the shits etc, and of course this little table and chair i am sitting in this office right now, but, i would not trade it for the scroll that i am chasing now.
hopefully, i will get it. Amin. Insyaallah. please pray for me people. thank you very much.
Aminnnn...
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