bubbling

I had this terrible feelings of uncomfortness and butterflies in my tummies kind of situation. it is the feelings that i hate so much but then again, i haf to face it. takkan tak face pulak. setiap hari ade je something new kan. takkan nak stay mcm tu je forever kan. now, i am lucky if i ever got the chance to eat ice cream peacefully and without any guilt on putting extra kilos when i weight myself. the fact that, i am scared and i need food to comfort me or shopping to ease it is terribly horrible for my body and my accounts. but then again, what other therapy can i turn to? anyhow, i need to face it. be it tomorrow or a bit later. im scared and im scared and i am so scared. but u know wat, what can i do? i feel shitty now. jap. nak duduk diam2 jap to ease the tense. mmg i always duduk diam2 pun. but at least i am lucky i can just say when i want something and when i need something or when im not ready or when i just want to be or when i feel like doing something anyway i want it and blabbering here is one of the thing that really makes me vomit all the words that is randomly typing in my mind and relief all the negative energy off.

p.s. i am so not me and i need to find me.