leaving for a scroll . . .

you know why the label of anything regarding my career is stated as Career Love? it's because when the day i started to write about it, i am not sure whether i am going to love it or not. and apparently, today mark the day that i don't.

not that i hate it, it's just that, i still haf an unfinished life's priority. i haf to complete my study.

being in this corporate world, well, it sure does teaches me a lot. this brutal world, if i may call it, i am indeed not ready and not yet fully equipped to be completely infuse into it and hence the defuse. & little by little the wonderful fantasy about being content of being a leader in a high rise tall building, about being a lady wif the nose stuck up in the air walking, slowly subside as, you know why? well, you figure it out, in your own perspectives. because, if i am to write it in here it'll be full of political, sarcasm, relationship and sensitivity area, which is not good.

to say that i will miss all the drama and the pressure i experienced here, yes, i will, but at the same time, it is something that i don't wish to be into again. the lesson learned, the heart bruised, the ego crush, the spirit squash will only makes me tougher and to be ahead of things, to think fast, and resolve issue not just meddle wif it, & definitely makes me more open to the real life issue. i'm not as naive as before.

yes, i am somewhat satisfied wif the money and i am a bit drawn towards the really nice treats i received from the people here but i cannot be stingy. i really can't cope working & studying at the same time.

and, i am quite lucky in a sense that my parents supports me, and they haf also implant in my mind, that the most important thing in life is actually EDUCATION not work. and, jump-ing of the career wagon without much hesitant basically lies in this particular line that arwah abah always said to me :

"belajar kuat - kuat."

he NEVER said to me to "kerja kuat - kuat." in fact, when he's alive, i NEVER work {i'll share that part of a little story in a different post if i may} so, by holding to that particular phrase, i make my decision. i decide.

umi supports my decision the moment i blurt it out. in fact, she's the one who urge me to leave a.s.a.p. in order for me to concentrate on my study. my little sister, ask when is my last day at work, the other day she called. adib promise to support me. & opah, still don't know, actually haha. we're {me & umi} scared to tell her ;p

and by now, yes i will miss the people, the environment, the friends, the money, the food, the fast pace life, the back to back meetings, the running in heels, the pressure, the shits etc, and of course this little table and chair i am sitting in this office right now, but, i would not trade it for the scroll that i am chasing now.

hopefully, i will get it. Amin. Insyaallah. please pray for me people. thank you very much.

ho hoi, gaji dah masuk u!~

gaji gaji gaji,

yesterday dah masuk as been rave upon by all of us. and as i arrived to the office today, the first thing i log on to is Maybank2u.

jumping in my seat literally and wow-ed in my heart silently, i smiled a little.

well, it is indeed the last one for this time around. hopefully, later, when the next pay is in, i can buy the world. literally. Insyaallah.

mini little pancake by kasuma.

yes, i'd like to share my version of mini little pancake recipe hihi.

ingredients

just the regular pancake mixture. "yes, the one that you can just add water / milk. in my version, water suffice."

the burned version : {step 1} pour the pancake mixture onto a nice hot pan, {step 2} multitask; wash the pile of dishes, wipe the wet floor, etc. & {step 3} come back to the pan and flip the cake. there, that's how u'd get my version of burned pancake =D

the original version : repeat {step 1}, {step 2} stand in front of the pan and wait for it to bubble, {step 3} flip the cake. almost perfect mini little pancake, nyum!

the choc chips version : repeat {step 1}, repeat {step 2} of the original version + scribble as much as choc chips that you like. & repeat {step 3} of the original version. cute polka choc chips of mini little pancake ready, super nyum! ;)

served wif nutella and definitely perfect for 2. enjoy! hihi.

p.s. cook at your own risk. teehee.

love-cuffs.

i think i am guilty as charge. i admit. i should be hmmpppp, love-cuffs! k syg.

you know how girls always gets so blissfully happy when a guy remembers to wish for the anniversary + monthiversary & even better buy her a flower + present, and gets all pout-y when he forgot all about it. and almost all of the little love cases that happen, the guy always forgot and the girl always always remember or wait for it?

in my case, as usual, its the twist of it.

and i think, i did it more than twice! boohoo. bad me. bad me. {i will try to improve, promise, promise} but to my defense, i simply forgot, because i was busy wif stuffs & things {lame ain't it?}

but wait, here's the real story behind it . . . . . . . . . . . . there's once, when we were in a car together going somewhere, his phone beep and guess what was it? a REMINDER! hah, now i know how he almost ALWAYS remembers it. he set a reminder for it. well, after catching him for being a cheater, his defense was far far away from lame, i chocked.

he said something like this "at least i make an effort to remember." jaw dropping answer like that, what else can i say ;p

at that time, i am crying an invisible tears. i feel like i don't really deserve him. i'm such a bad girlfriend / fiancé. {huuuuuu} really, i am truly really is sad and bengang wif myself.

but whateverrrrrrr it is, negativity set aside, i try to lighten it up and make a silly little rule proposal that is directly being rejected by him as i utter it out because of the bias-ness and really i don't blame him. we just laugh it off! you wanna know what the rule is?

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the one who remembers must buy a present! ;p heeeee.

what's on my mind . . . now.

do you haf this urge of doing something at home while you are busy working in the office, but then when you go home, you just say "forget about it, i just want to sleep!/rest/chill." ? well, that is almost always the dilemma of an employee who's employed. and when things are not done/fulfilled, blame the work. yes, that's life.

in my case, it's a little different. i can twist it a little. in fact it is so twisted, i hope the twist will not be tangled up. in simple words, i can make a choice of doing what i want & what i think is really is important for now. i choose to be a full time student back, again. which not many people can. and for that, i am truly grateful to Allah S.W.T. Alhamdulillah. lets just hope the choice i made is really is a good one.

so, now, there's a lot of things running in my mind of which i want to do {besides studying so religiously, of course!} right after my official one month resignation notice ends. some of it are :

{okay, let's make this post like a little checklist for me} ;p

1) change my mode of study - part time to full time.

2) learn to bake and make it a point to really bake this time. hangus pun hangus la. but must bake!

3) go jogging. at least jog turun naik second floor pun enough.

4) sleeeeeeeeep.

figural & numeral

looking at my little rainbow stats, i feel amazed. i never thought that what i am writing here haf a reader somewhere, there :)

if you know one of the reason on why i started blogging, you'll be laughing your head off at how silly and naive i was back then. one thing for sure, this is definitely not my first blog! teehee.

i bet, you're wondering what the reason is right? ;p don't wanna share it. too shy. *blush!

shoutout!

just wanna make a little shoutout to all my friends especially from school till U years.

I MISS YOU ALL SO FREAKING MUCH

I FEEL LIKE CRYING!!!!!

ah, feel better.

jumping off the career wagon, i am.

okay, updates updates.

sorry to you readers for clicking and seeing there's no updates. i've been meditating and hibernating ;p

so, the hot news now is about my sudden and crazy decision of resigning. i haf reached a point in life where i haf to make a choice. and that involves an abrupt change of my current way of living. well, i am used to the 9-6 chaotic corporate drama shits and to not haf that is kinda like hmmp, too free?

but of course i have a strong reason. i want to concentrate on my PhD. so, too free is out of the way, as i will be struggling and squeezing my ideas out. which definitely lead to a new stress level building, the pressure of getting it done!

the news of the resignation spread so fast even the one i don’t expect to know, knows. well, of course there’s a mix reactions to it, good as well as bad,

like for example, i can never forget this very sad statement coming from someone who is living and breathing the same air as me, i mean, i pity you seriously, where were you when our Prime Minister talks about Vision 2020 ? the statement goes something like this :

“buat apa belajar tinggi-tinggi, nanti dah kahwin, duduk kat dapur je”
i was stunt and think carefully before answering and my suave-ly response comes out. of course, i try very hard, to not sound berlagak, riak, takbur, sombong and all that la,
“takpe, nanti i duduk kat dapur i ade PhD…"*giggles~

and after that, making sure i, myself, positify the negative statement, Insyaallah, i will try my very best to get it. Insyaallah.

okay, the thing about jumping off the career wagon is that, it has a lot of challenges coming ahead of me, and of course being a girl who already knows the pleasure of having my own hard earned pocket money, i am scared. like so scared i count every single cent i use!

i've tried so hard to convince umi and adib to support me, & alhamdulillah, i got their support. my little sister knows a little bit or two about the news and she also wants to support by wanting to lend her ear to listen. but she herself is damn busy wif Master's, i don't haf the heart to disturb. coz, ya, i freaking know what it's like! i've been there. and opah, hmmp, i don't know how to tell her, i'll leave that to my mom ;p

as far as the office procedure is concern, i manage to talk to the one who matters nicely and they somehow understand my situation and even gif me the assurance that i can come back anytime that i want. well, hopefully their sweet mouth don't spit bitter saliva. Insyaallah.

now that i really am is counting the days to go, as i put down one month notice of resignation period, i do feel sad to leave. i mean, who doesn't right ?

& what i truly crazily want now is to get my PhD done, with of course, flying colors results. Amin. Insyaallah. thank you very much for your support family, fiancé & friends!

Reactions & Reviews

regarding The Resignation.

lots of it,

i feel like i haf a super power magic spell to make me disappear.

Ya Allah, i need help, really badly :((

drum roll, please .....

announcing the news of the century, haha

i am contemplating of resigning since Friday 29 April 2011 {historic date ni} ;p due to the over-stressed state that i am in.

and after talking and communicating my points and pondering upon so many variables, i had to make the decision, fast.

today, i did the first stage of communication wif the person who matters, separately and to my surprise both of em' haf two almost similar lines which i summarized to a little simpler version, which is :

if you wish to work in this company again next time,

we will definitely recommend you

for the top level management ...

{ahh, i feel blessed!}

well, future, i do not know what's exactly install for me, and due to that, i haf to be equipped well, andddd praying for the best is definitely a good idea!