Rules & Shits

ops, i've been procrastinating on updating the chapters of my Singapore Trip :p will do, soooon.. in fact, i am procrastinating on many things, be it in my education field, my life, as well as my working profile. i guess, i've created a mode of lazing around and just taking my own sweet time in everything that i do just to make myself a little less stress than i do before. a little laid back kinda attitude to make things fits in its block. to make life a little more bright. in essence, i think of what i want to do and do it, not just do things according to the rules and shits.

but, all these will hopefully not last that long, as i do not want to be a slave in my own pedigree. i will try and find what suits me best and will try to create a goal of which i will be able to point blank-ly achieved one fine day. Insyaallah. as of now, all i want to do is do what i want to do.

:-|

remember this post?

manage to send it to Esprit during the weekends to replace the diamond, just haf to wait now. & it's foc. hee {excellent after-sell-service Esprit!~}

stop crying! stop & move on.

today is one of those days in which i went to the ladies and cried myself like a little baby, yet, yes, again. people watching is not a contributing factor for me to stop. i keep on crying. and as usual, who do i call to sooth me and share the little mishaps i am having at that moment of time?

u guess who? yes, it's syg.

despite the fact that, we had a little quarrel last weekend, he somehow manage to melt my heart back again {walaupun masa gaduh tu langsung tak igt dunia!} yah, so i called him, to be my little listener + a little motivation whisperer.

some of the words he said, does brings back the smile to my face. and it somehow does lit me up a little.

but, put him aside, back to the little problem, that lead me crying in the ladies, again. appointment was made prior to the proposal presentation, some students called it Viva? if im not mistaken, and i came in just in time to present it to him. we were discussing and he listens. after that he argues followed with an explanation on how i can improve my proposal. in short, the conversation goes a little like this:

"read, read, read"

"what's new?"

"pdf"

"scholarly"

"must fill in the gap"

"must be new"

i was close to tears and he noticed {because as some of you might have known, i really want this, and i mean it, but it's too hard!} and he quickly make it short with a friendly little conclusion which goes something like this "& yes, you can come and disturb me anytime". i did not cry in front of him though, and manage to keep my tears until i reached the ladies.

come to think of it, even though i am quite unlucky for the past few attempts, but now, there's a little light, and i consider myself a little lucky this time, considering that he cares and want to help me out for this next proposal. btw, it's gonna be my fifth one. hmmp.

p.s. Insyaallah, i takkan putus asa. Insyaallah.

banyaknya movie to watch :)

omg, just look at all the lineup in cathay cineplexes now showing. can i squeeze in all the slots this weekend? hmmp? syg? jom syg.

syg was waiting for the one yang marked in red box. while the one marked in blue box are my picked!

p.s. harap-harap sempat tgk sumeee sekali, before it ends! ;)

Singapore Trip : Chapter One

Singapore in a glance :

1) backpacking is a good idea.

2) flats is recommended to move around fast and quickly.

3) sling bag is appropriate to keep things in tack all the time.

4) it's about, walk. walk. & walk.

5) & it's all about shopping. shopping. & more shopping. the shopping centre is connected to each other. 0mg.

6) the mrt is super fast + super full.

7) i think the escalator at the mrt station is faster than the one in our lrt station. hmmp.

8) it's hard to find Halal food.

9) almost all of the girls are wearing very nice flat shoes.

10) owh, & almost all of the people i encounter talk to me in chinese. hee :P

metaphorically speaking..

i am in deep shit.

we are basically in the middle of 2010. half of the year is gone. and here is my conclusion as at 09 June 2010. it is not good.

i am not trying to adhere to "my cup is half empty" but i cant run away from that. my cup is really half empty, as of now.

i tried to twist a little bit of here and there, but i still couldn't get to my half full cup. how la? i am indeed so stress and i think i need some help.

it's just that, i do not know where to seek that help from. hmmp. and if i don't find that little help which i am very much needed now, i am scared i will make more and more mistakes and would literally buried myself in tons of dunk!

o o. now, that's something I'd very much like to avoid. please.

Semerah Cinta Stilleto

last nite, during dinner, we watched this dvd. the story started annoyingly, i feel like switching it off.

but in the later part of the show, when the storyline begins to come to its sense, then only we begin to love it.

it's comedic with a touch of lovey dovey + a sense of self appreciation kind of movie. so, bole la, tak boring, tak wow. light & simple. sesuai untuk tontonan masa dinner and masa bermalas-malasan di malam sunday. hee.

owh, hmmp, this piece is definitely, yet another little love story that reminds me, of us :)

the dream.

i guess the birds must haf been chirping all these notes i am sending to my daddy, i don't know. maybe.

last nite, i went to bed rather early. updated my gnites in Fbee and i dozed off.

and, last nite, i had a dream. the dream. a dream that lets me woke up, realizing that it is not real and i am indeed dreaming.

i dreamed about my dad. when he was around, i usually would crash my parents room to sleep in the middle of my mom and my dad. i would hug each one of them tightly and cosyly & definitely snug in nicely. and age is just a numerical value. sampai besar pun i tidur dgn diorang.

and sometimes i would just knocked on their door if it is locked {that's how naive i was before, eih} and manage to get myself squash in between them till morning comes.

last nite, i dreamed of sleeping in between them again, together wif my little sister. he was all smiley and i am too was happy.we were all sleeping together.

and then something quite not right happen, i forgot what it was, and i called for my dad to help me. in my dream i was calling him again and again and and he do replied.

abah, abah, abah.

ye, ye, ye.

{i am even teary right this very moment}

but, to my avail, he did not come, he just replied again and again and suddenly the voice disappear. and i snap out of it when i terjaga. and at that very moment when i open my eyes, i realized that it was just a dream. a dream that leaves me afloat.

and i cried. i cried myself like a baby and i went back to sleep, sadly.

& the last time i hugged him was on a single hospital bed. and that was indeed the very last time. :'(

thunders story.

my mind is scribbling words for my proposal. my gestures is searching for the perfect time to get it done. argh. why is it so hard? adib said, kalau senang, tu dah lain dah.

tapi, apa-apa pun yang jadi, i akan cuba jugak my very best. Insyaallah satu hari nanti Allah akan dengar all my wishes and grant my prayers. Insyaallah, Amin.

abah, i've done my very best, and i've tried so hard to reach that dream for u. i hope u know it. i hope the birds haf been sending all these notes to u :)

the fact that i am struggling and when i receive some of the thorny words from the academician, it does not help at all, and it does tear my heart a little bit. i felt hurt and i am indeed wounded by the thorny words. but, i will try my very best to positify the words into encouragements.

but, one thing for sure, i can never forget a phrase that goes something like this "you are too young to do it, give yourself some time before you do it", i mean, what does age got to do with all these?

aih, how can i let them down, this wishes and dreams that my dad, my mom, my grandma, my little sister, and mysyg haf on me? i can't disappoint them. i can't settle for disappointment and discouragement.

i hope God's plan for me is a happy ending. Insyaallah.

p.s. thunders please go away and let the rainbows shine.

stars & moon

what's life without a little surprises and a little mishaps along the way? be it good be it bad, time ticks, people ages, life moves.

urgh.

okeyla, on a lighter note,

guess what's in my mug now in the morning for breakfast, instead of the KoKo Krunch?

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it's a piece of cake! now, that's something i never expect to haf for breakfast today. it's from my colleague. & that explains why the Koko Krunch box is still there, unfinished :P

p.s. can life be a little bit more like a piece of cake by the way? simple & no problem? hmmps.

Princess Tamina & Princess Fiona

we watched these movies few days ago, and right after i step out of the cinema, i feel like watching it again. yes, the same movie, before the "now showing" period ends. sbb both of em' best sgtt.

but, when i ajak syg, die tanak. he said, boring la, dah tau ending sume.

hmmmp. tapi i nak tgk lagi, nak tgk lagiiiii. nak nak nak nakkkkk jugakkkk.

owh, btw, Prince of Persia is his kind of movie. while, Shrek sql's is my kind. hee. but now, i love both kinds!