in progress. Insyaallah.

*Auto Publish Post*

lalalalala....a little black & white update for it to remain a surprise :) so stay tune people! much love to my readers!~

btw, there's still so much more little-little things to be tick off from the imaginary to do list, & I'm so totally keeping myself calm. well, hopefully everything, i mean e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g, will be ready on time. Insyaallah. that's what matters the most.

other than that, whatever comes, comes :)

a little blonde moment?

yesterday i had a blonde moment. {hope it won't terjadi again, pleasee!}

a blonde moment so silly i feel like smacking my face hard. but i don't of course, just a little embarrass that is. and the customer service counter personnel offer a little than mini help, almost to no help at all. so very disappointed i am. coz i went and ask for like few times. obviously i need help right?

usually syg yang buatkan. but because, we're too busy, we had to delegate. well, besides, i can't always rely on him only, kan. i have to be a bit independence too.

as i was trying for like the thousand times, i was already developing a little embarrassing sweat on my forehead. i never did it myself! or maybe i just forgot how to. damn. decided to ask the counter again and they're apparently too "busy" to jump off their seat.

last sekali, i pun terpaksalah jump a queue backwards few times just to intai how the other person operate the machine. i felt like an idiot, nasib baik, i ternampak and finally i managed to do it. thank god for a sharp sneaky eyes! i had to. i didn't mean to meddle.

guess what the machine was?

a CIMB cash deposit machine!

i know, right, senang je kan? hahaha, malunya saya! no wonder the customer service counter personnel would not want to even moved her butt off her chair. sbb senang je nak operate the machine! *adoi, tepuk kepala!*

scrabble babble ...

this month's weeks feels darn fast for me. it comes and go so fast i sometimes think did i manage to breath while i was at it or not?

the list of to do things is expanding day by day in my head. i don't bother to write it down on paper nor on my phone anymore, coz it's just too much. i tend to just forget it and if it comes back to my mind, means it's important. if it's not, just let it be. i can say i'm a little bit of a perfectionist type, which i think only brings a lot of trouble to me. hence now, i am slowly changing to a less perfect person by just attending to things if it really needs me to attend to. if not, just let the wind blow it away ... slowly ..

i once read on someone's facebook's philosophy, it goes something like this {which i tweak a little to suit my understanding} ... being happy is when you see the imperfection as perfect ... hence, life is not always perfect. i haf to accept that. and life does not always confer to your way of living your life. life has it's own way and path to lead too.

so back to my super tight week and weekend schedule which i guess will goes on until like when we're done with the little event? there's still a lot of shopping to do and a lot more of preparation to make.

will it be perfect?

well, let's just let it be perfect in it's own kind of perfect ... hmmp ...

on juggling things.

umi was iterating the groceries list and my colleague was requesting for something at the same time just now. nodding to my colleague and yes-ing to umi at the same freaking time. haish. i'm having a really bad neck pain now. i need a simple massage and a salon fix asap.

juggling things is not easy. but a girl got to do what a girl got to do right?

on study matters, i do wonder, why is it so hard to get what i applied for. i've planned for it to happen, and the execution is in process, but i don't know why must it be this hard. i've no one to turn to, or seek advice from. sbb yang i kenal, dapat buat straight {they are pure genius i tell you} or they did the medical line {genius to the next level} i feel so lost. so dump. i can't even get my proposal approved. damn, close to giving up i am. {but hopefully i won't, please give me strength Ya Allah}

sometimes i wish, umi and abah had encouraged me to take up Bio in school, just so i can get to the final destination without much route. it's not easy i know, but at least it's a one way route. not like what i am currently experiencing right now, very painful to even swallow!

it's not like i'm gonna take up the world, i'm just doing my research. give me some space. please.

on Indian Cuisine.

i am usually a picky eater so, for me wanting to try out things and especially bizarre food like kambing is totally impossible.

for lunch today, we {me & my colleague} had an indian cuisine at an indian restaurant. indian food mestila ade kambing dish kan. tapi takpe, i'll just pass if i do stumble upon it. no worries.

but not today, i've created a history in my life. i did try a kambing dish! and in this case i know i was taking and eating the kambing. sbb kalau tatau tu, the feeling lain. igt macam daging biasa je kan.

it started when i was browsing through the rows of lauk, i saw this one dish and i felt like tasting it. mcm ade like tarikan for me to go and try it & i decided to ask the waiter what the dish was and he said "owh, itu kambing"

dalam hati, alamak, why la kambing, cakapla daging biasa! nak amik ke tanak amik ni, takut la. ;p kambing tuuu. sbb i dgr, if makan kambing, nanti badan rasa heaty . . . panas & ade bau kambing. tapi lauk tu nampak sedap! hmmp. what the heck, i took it and told myself to experience the mitos myself. betul ke org cakap ni, ke urband legend je.

so, i took, chicken kurma, deep fried squid and kambing curry! that's bizarre enough for meeee. heee. and kalau makan nasi served on a daun pisang, mestila use our very own hand to eat kan? baru real~ dgn ade papadom and some fish curry on the rice. quite a nice experience i had :)

one bite of the kambing and i was like flying, hmmp, nice, sedap. so tender. so juicy. now i truly know what the rave is all about when it comes to kambing dish. it's so sedap! rugi tak suka dari awal. haha.

but,

as i am writing this, i donnow whether it's my psychology or what, but i feel warm and my hands smell kambing! ;p *as if la i pernah pergi cium kambing tuu, to know how they smell kan. urgh, psycho psycho. takpe yang penting it was nice & i am breaking my own food record! :D

p.s. nak try again next time? hmmp. tgk rupa dish tu mcm mane, menarik or tak menarik hehe.

pink label please, petronas ;p

yes, i admit, i am that type of girl who own's a car but only knows how to drive it. sampai destination cukup & i basically only take care of the inner kebersihan only. like making sure my empty vitagen casing, crumpled used tissue, and chocolate's wrap is thrown away, in the dustbin, of course. and kibas-kibas tempat lapik kaki tu so that no habuk please. hee. that's about it.

the one who take care about most of my car's maintenance and service and petrol and wash and etc etc issue is syg. so, lately, he's been busy. way too busy to even pump in the petrol for me. you know i hate pumping in my own petrollll, syg. :(

so, yesterday i had to do it. sbb dah kritikal takde minyak. though at first i forgot all about it. tgk-tgk dah almost e. oops. sampai je kat station, i don't haf enough cash, and i am not sure whether the debit card can be use at any petrol station or not. i had to withdraw some cash and now all i wanted to do is pay the amount, pump and go. the basic, pump 4, 50. and usually, i mean most of the time, the cashier {which btw in this case is a girl} will just say okey.

but not yesterday. the girl decided to do more than the basic. she ask the type and the colour of the pump. "hijau, kuning, hitam?" i went like "huh??!~" with are you sure you're asking me that kind of question kinda face. i mean, how should i know? i tak hafal ;p "yang biasa la", was the best answer i could possibly think of to answer to the girl and she replied owh, okey okey..though in my mind i am answering "pink!" ;p ade? haha. sampai je dekat pump 4, ade hitam and kuning. i pump in the kuning one sbb i somehow knew that hitam is not biasa.

and i did a little research. supaya saya tidak nampak macam orang bodoh lagi lain kali, dgn bertanya kepada, siapa lagi kalau bukan syg! haha. hitam = diesel {alamak, lupa tanya syg, diesel untuk ape, yang i know, diesel untuk lori la, kereta biasa tak bole} & bagi kereta biasa ade hijau and kuning, hijau 97 & kuning 95. hijau mahal sikit berbanding kuning. {betul tak syg?} okey, itu je. i think this should be sufficient enough, for now. heee.

p.s. owh i haf a suggestion, i think they should introduce a pink label pump la, pink = biasa. so that it's easier to remember, especially by a girl like me~ i mean it, seriously! ;p

it's a love hate thing.

the thing about being a daughter, granddaughter, sister and a girlfriend is that, i am bound to make the relationship a good one. a happy one. and sometimes i tend to make their happiness go straight on top of the priority chart, without even realizing of my own happiness level slipping down. but, this sentence when you are happy, i am happy always become like a mantra for me to stay grounded.

most of the time, the relationship also comes to a point of a love hate situation that somehow manage to light it's own fire in the most discreet manner as it can possibly fired. so, what should i do to stay calm and collected all the time so that i can somehow manage to get through all the hassle that twirl in the way of my way to happiness?

i don't know. it's a love hate thing. i just haf to figure out how as and when it arises, which comes to a point of why life is called life.

huh?

i've been stressed out with things and self issue lately and the fact that life is not as simple as it may be as before is definitely making me feel really sad.

but,

one thing i would love to highlight in this little post is that, there are still strangers talking and giving compliments to strangers in this so called busy i don't care or bother about others community we are breathing in now. and somehow it gif a little light of happiness to the one receiving, of course! though a little bit weird to my perspectives.

First Incident
i was from the office and i knew i had to re-stock the daily dose of Gardenia. after a hard day at work all i wanted to do is to go back straight home. i mean, don't we all? but no, i had to re-stock, remember? so i parked at a Petronas near my house and grab two bags of Gardenia and while making the payment i felt a bit uncomfortable as i had to bare the drizzling rain before. the girl at the counter strike a little conversation and i tried my very best not to be sombong and replied. after a little perk me up chitchat, to my awe she said i am cute. "i am cute?" really? {that was in my head of course!} well, to be honest i don't expect to get that kind of compliment on a rainy day and a tired sloppy looking me. it's embarrassing people! ape-ape pun, it definitely lit up my day a little. all i could do that time was flash a little surprised smile of mine and make sure not to let the awkwardness surface. awkward aight? anyhow, you definitely made my day dear 15 yr old part time cashier - girl!

Second Incident
medical check up and blood test is definitely torturing for me, and as me and umi was waiting for our turn to see the doctor, after being jabbed at the lucky green veins for some bloody experiment at the lab, i was trying to let loose a little bit by air brushing my hair in the air when suddenly i felt a little snap! i turned and i see a lady behind us, amazed, she smiled at me as i turned in a little marah mode. somehow i know that she touched my hair. i felt a little uneasy of course, but to my surprise, she said, you haf a nice hair!, and my sudden surprise feedback was definitely a humble thank you, despite being a little shocked and a little mad that someone would literally grabbed my hair! {happy, tapi menakutkan laaaaa, i mean, don't touch-touch la okay, scaryyy}

so, there my happy but weird experience i had in leading my super busy and stressed out life. life is weird. kan? whatever la. all i can say is, i am still in aww mode. {the surprise one, not the romantic aww one}

p.s. so spread the love, spread the joy, smile to strangers, tell people that they are beautiful, i mean honestly not a fake one of course, coz one fine day someone might just do the same to you, and it is especially felt when you are feeling so f*ck*ng down. a little compliment goes a long way you know? though it felt a little weird when receiving it butttt, it's okay......well, at least, it did, to me. thanks strangers.

Giant & us.

did i tell you yet, how much we love going to Giant?

i felt giddy saying it, but, seriously it's kinda fun going into some stipulated alley reserved for all the common stuffs, finding for things, and at the same time discovering some new things. basically you can find most of the essentials you need and could think of to use in your daily life at Giant. at least that is what i think. hmmp.

like this waffle biscuit i found at the biscuits' aisle, fell in love wif it straightaway!~

and of course adib has his own favourite aisle! i'm sure some of you can guess right? heee. his favourite aisle is the chocolate aisle. if i ever lose sight of him, i know he's got to be at the chocolate aisle. heh.

as for me, i don’t haf any favourite one though, coz i love almost all of the aisle! ;)

well, i'm pretty lucky that adib is willing to help me out wif the groceries shopping, as sometimes i can't reach the stuff place very high on the shelf or simply can't be carrying a 10 kgs of beras myself, wif my only two hands.

usually we'll take turns in pushing the cart. as i think it's not fair for me to just let him push it alone. but most of the time, he somehow knows that he should be the one pushing it!~ hehe.

this is how our cart would usually look like, so, wajibla adib yang tolak kan? ;p

so the other day, after finishing the groceries and essentials shopping we were sooo tired and famished and all kelam kabut sbb tak sabar nak sampai rumah to rest.

and kebetulan, i had to push the cart as he was busy answering his phone {a call from a girl okey?} as we're nearing the car, the phone conversation becomes a bit deeper i guess and he seems to kinda forgot that i was behind him pushing the full load of cart.

takpe lagi, i just let him be {in my mind, he got something important to discuss kot, bia je la} but when he start the engine and close the door, i decided not to just let him be. i wave slowly in his face, not to disturb the deep phone conversation, and he finally realized. phew~

one thing for sure, i do not want to take the risk by just letting him start the engine and close the door and wait to see if he do remember me or not. what if i was left all alone at the parking lot, and he only realized that i was wif him when the conversation ends and he's already like reached home? no, no, not a good move.

so after he realized it, i am already merajuk and we stuffed the car boot and drove home. only then, i asked him, "u terlupa ke i was wif u? yang kita baru habis beli barang?"

he only answer "ingat, kalut jawab phone tadi, ade benda serious. bla bla," he try very hard to convince me. well, after a while i am convinced that the conversation was about something serious. he berjaya pujuk i.

and we laughed out loud remembering that i could be stranded all alone at the Giant parking lot wif a fully loaded cart! *^&%$ and all he could guarantee to me is that die tak lupa, die ingat. but deep down inside me, until now, i doubt it!` boo!

p.s. belum apa-apa dah lupa dah girlfriend die sorang ni, huh! ;p takpe, masih bole dimaafkan. sbb ade alasan yang bole dikategorikan agak kukuh laa. hopefully takkan berulang je!~ rrr.

rainbow treats for the little ones~

It’s December, the colorful rainbow month... strolling in the mall and all you notice first is the variety of lovely rainbow colored coated candy canes, shaped lollypops, little sweets and scrumptious chocolates to drool over.

sudden urge of making someone’s day, suddenly blossoms, & here’s some rainbow treats for few of my colleague little ones at home~ hope I brightened up their day! :)

bluek!~

work has taken it's toll on me last night. i was so sick i threw up like three times. it's insane. i threw up as i got home, i threw up while i was eating the pills {yes, at the table, on my baju, dah mcm baby burping and termuntah tu, worst, it's not a baby, it's me, an adult!} and the third time, i threw up the biscuit & milo i had in order to eat the pills {kan nak makan ubat kena makan something dulu kan} great. i haf like zero things in my tummy.

the point is, i was so sick because i've been juggling all the thoughts in my head and i feel like i could not even survive another day in this world. i felt so burden up wif shits.

my head spins so ridiculously i feel like i am spin walking. decided to sleep it off. early. like at ten i was sleeping already. luckily this morning i felt so much better and can come to work. if not, i do not know how to answer to the boss, as my leave is frozen for like these two weeks. end of the year buzz issue. well. whatever shit it is, it's okey i guess, just haf to suck it up, & at least i know i am needed in the company, despite all the little-i-cant-take-it-anymore-vomit-drama!. i haf to endure. urgh.